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surfguy · Lounge Wizard Joined: 13 Apr 2006 Posts: 6979

Jose Cuervo Christmas Cookies

I make these every year.

INGREDIENTS
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequilla

DIRECTIONS
Sample the Cuervo to check quality.

Take a large bowl, and check the Cuervo again to be sure
it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer... Beat one
cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one teaspoon of sugar... Beat again.
At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK
Try another cup ... just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break two leggs and add
to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the
frigging fruit off floor... Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers,
just pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something.
Who giveshz a sheet.

Check the Jose Cuervo.

Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.
Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window,
finish the Cose Juervo, and make sure to put
the stove in the dishwasher.

CHERRY MISTMAS!!!!

surfguy · Lounge Wizard Joined: 13 Apr 2006 Posts: 6979

Rich Man, Poor Man
>
> A rich man and a poor man were discussing what they
> gave their wives for
> their Christmas. The rich man says, "I bought my
> wife a diamond necklace
> and a Mercedes Benz. Poor man asks, "Why did you buy
> her two gifts?" The
> rich man replies, "Well, in case she doesn't like
> the diamond necklace,
> she can drive her Mercedes Benz to take it back."
>
> The poor man acknowledges the rich mans answer then
> proceeds to tell him
> what he got his wife. "I got my wife a pair of flip
> flops and a dildo."
> With a confused and intrigued look, the rich man
> asks, "Why did you buy
> her those gifts?!" The poor man replies, "Well, in
> case she doesn't
> like the flip flops, she can go fuck herself."