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MrSpice
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 Posted: Thu Sep 15, 2005 7:28 pm Post subject: Why Russians don't always smile (and probably shouldn't) |
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http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/3788509.stm
from http://www.cstn.org/reports/learning/01languagerussia.html :
"Despite decades of travel that had taken me throughout Europe, I felt a quiver of apprehension when I boarded an Aeroflot flight at London's Gatwick Airport. The flight attendants seemed to have stern faces. I later learned that one of the cultural differences between the USA and Russia involves smiling.
My language instructor, Stas, explained: "We smile when we are truly happy, when something marvelous has happened. When an American or European approaches a Russian to ask the time and he smiles, we think he's a hypocrite. Like he is delighted to be asking us the time?"
Last edited by MrSpice on Thu Sep 15, 2005 11:07 pm; edited 2 times in total |
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MrSpice
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mediashark
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| Posted: Thu Sep 15, 2005 7:47 pm Post subject: |
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So please do not litter your posts with insincere smileys!  |
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MrSpice
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mediashark
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| Posted: Thu Sep 15, 2005 9:50 pm Post subject: |
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| ... I also know of laughing classes in Japan! (ok, I'm trying hard not to put a smiling smiley in all my posts....) |
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MrSpice
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| Posted: Thu Sep 15, 2005 11:00 pm Post subject: |
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And New Yorkers when they take subway don't have any reason to smile either:
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Camrade
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Joined: 06 Dec 2004
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Location: Ñàíêò-Ïåòåðáóðã
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| Posted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 10:09 pm Post subject: |
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russians used to smile sincerely...
so when they are don't want to smile, they won't do it  |
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MrSpice
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| Posted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 10:36 pm Post subject: |
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| exactly - but to some Americans (Cyndy is one of them) that looks as if everyone you see on the street is unfriendly, even though the smile in itself is only one indication that a particular person is friendly. |
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CHeburashka
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Joined: 23 Sep 2005
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| Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 12:26 pm Post subject: |
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| People used to think I had a bad temper if I were just walking with a frown on my face, thinking.. Outward appearances can be very misleading. |
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MrSpice
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| Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 6:16 pm Post subject: |
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| My point was that many people (especially Americans coming from small towns) except people to smile at them when they walk down the street. Somewhere in Texas a "how are you" from a total stranger is often expected, while in Russia most people don't smile just because they are friendly, especially at people they don't know. |
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cyndy22
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| Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 7:57 pm Post subject: |
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Mr. Spice is hardly knowledgeable re personal behavior of Americans residing in small towns. I am after all his poster girl for this so it seems! 
I don't really think it is smiles that is the issue but openess. Russians are far less approachable than many other cultures. Less approachable because not all but many refuse to make eye contact, acknowledge your presense, are unlikely to engage in conversation with strangers even when it is the stranger who initiates it, and are often unwilling to provide info. |
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MrSpice
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| Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 8:13 pm Post subject: |
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Cyndy - if that is the case, I think russians should indeed change
I would dare to say that you perception is likely to be affected by salespeople and other service folks that are notoriously unfriendly. It's a part of Soviet culture where customer did not matter. I noticed that in the new industries - like cell phone shops or restaurants, for example - the service and the friendliness is much better. Yet if you go to a bookstore where the same people work as did in the past - the service totally sucks. You better not ask too many questions, so you are right on that
But I think that the average/random people - especially those with college education (important point) are much less hostile and are quite curious and friendly. St Petersburg is really a mixed bag. On one hand it's an industrial city where some of the heavy industries are located. Often, those factory workers are not particularly smart or friendly. On the other hand it's an educational center with lots of universities and research institutions.
As far as my expertise on small-town America, I am not an expert in any way, obviously. But I lived for 6 months in New Hampshire and have visited many small towns in Massachussetts, New York, California, Rhode sland, etc. I also studied in upstate New York for 3 years. And that's my perception of small-town America. |
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cyndy22
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| Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2005 2:44 am Post subject: |
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| I do agree that younger Russians and others regardless of education or class are indeed more approachable than many in the stores, hotels, tourist areas etc. Not everyone was unfriendly to me during my visit in June. I especially had a very pleasant conversation with a few younger persons in their 20's and a woman who was a teacher from Moscow. |
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init6
WayToRussified
Joined: 01 Jun 2005
Posts: 363
Location: Ìîñêâà, Ðîññèÿ
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| Posted: Tue Sep 27, 2005 11:49 am Post subject: |
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I like the fact that not everyone here walks around with a stupid grin on their face. It drives me nuts when people do that and here it's a rarity. If I see someone smiling or laughing here, I know it's because they're happy or just heard something genuinely funny, not because they're a drooling moron (or drunk). 
I've had decent experiences with salespeople so far here, even some of the old Soviet ones. The local supermarket I usually shop in has one "sovok" cashier who growled, "Davai, davai!" at me because I didn't shove the guy in front of me out of the way immediately after he paid. But to the left of her is a younger (30s) gal who is rather cheerful. You get the same thing in the US, that is for sure. Assholes and decent folks - it doesn't obey cultural boundaries.
On the other hand, I catch myself worrying about laughing on the metro sometimes, even if I'm talking with a friend (granted, I still feel self-conscious about speaking English in public). "Are they all looking at me like I'm an idiot now?" I often wonder. I'm sure I'll get over it.
But the forced smiles and insincerity of large portions of the West - well, I just don't like it. I have to go with George Carlin on this one. Don't tell me to have a nice day. I'll have a shitty day if I want to, and you can't do anything about it!  Honestly, though, some of the gruff exteriors, especially of middle-aged+ women, here really don't bother me that much. It's just part of the culture, and it shouldn't change. Would you want a bunch of Russians coming to the US and demanding that people stop smiling and telling you in a syrupy voice to have a nice day? I highly doubt it - so don't demand the inverse out of Russians, especially in their own country.
Russia is what it is and if the Westerners who are trying so desperately to Westernize Russia succeed, then I'll be looking for somewhere else to go. See Mark Ames/the eXile for far more than I could ever write on the subject.
Down with the paradigm blob! |
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MrSpice
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| Posted: Tue Sep 27, 2005 5:04 pm Post subject: |
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| init6: I am glad to hear from you again. Cyndy's point, though, was that not only some people don't smile but they were also unfriendly. That is not a good thing if that's true. |
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