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Cold Russian Boyfriend Goto page 1, 2  Next

Way to Russia Talk Lounge Forum Index -> Russian People

Author	Message
Argentine_Princessa Just Starting Joined: 11 Feb 2006 Posts: 2	Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2006 6:48 pm    Post subject: Cold Russian Boyfriend [requested to be deleted by the user] - waytorussia admin
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Fire_Goddess Guest	Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2006 7:37 pm    Post subject: A person who acts cold and withholding with you, and gives you the silent treatment is an emotional abuser. Its time for you to move on, he has problems you can not fix.
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waytorussia Frequent Guest Joined: 17 Mar 2010 Posts: 14	Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2006 7:42 pm    Post subject: I think it might have something to do with the Russian culture. Even though he is now living in Canada, I'm sure that 5 years is not enough to become a completely different person. I think the problem you are experiencing is that you want certain emotions from him and you think that he doesn't have them. However, you know this only through interpreting his body language, his words. It might be that he has another way of expressing these exactly the same emotions that you are looking for, but in a different way. We often interpret somebody's behavior by imagining how we would feel ourselves if we behaved the same, but every person is different, so we can't say exactly what is happening in another person's mind even if behavior seems to be quite clear. The only way for you to understand his behavior is to try it out yourself. Is there a way that you could have of caring about him and his wellbeing by behaving in the same way as he does? Maybe the coldness, frigidity, no display of emotion you are talking about is only on the surface? Maybe there's another way of having the same emotions, but not displaying them in the same way as you are used to? You could mirror (not mock!) his behavior and try to find how he feels. In this case he will feel that you made a step closer to him and then you can start introducing some ways of expressing emotions that are close to him. It will be easier for him to learn them then. Long conversations about differences don't help, it is through action that you can do the most. Once you make a step towards him, he will also be willing to make a step towards you. And then you will learn each other's way of expressing emotions, understand them, and integrate them in your relationship. Regarding his attitude to homosexuals, these are just prejudices. Perhaps, he needs to meet a few nice people, develop friendship with them, and only then learn that they are homosexuals. This way he will have to re-adjust his perception, because good friends will be more important to him than cultural prejudices. If you introduce people to him and say they are homosexual/bisexual directly, he might see them through the prism of his prejudices. However, if he just meets them as a person to person, develops relationship, and then learns one day about their sexual orientation, it will instigate some changes in him. He'll have to re-evaluate his way of seeing things.
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Fire_Goddess Guest	Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2006 7:51 pm    Post subject: I dont know how someone can fall in love with a person who is cold and withholding straight from the get go, usually these type of men have to possess a certain charm initially in order to start a relationship. Unless you are an alien from outer space you know that when someone is sad you arent supposed to give them the silent treatment, you are suppose to offer whatever comfort you know how. This leads me to believe he does not love her and really does not care about her emotions. I dont see how ignoring a sad person is a cultural thing, especially if you are suppposed to love that person.
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tstoneh Just Starting Joined: 11 Feb 2006 Posts: 3	Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2006 8:16 pm    Post subject: Russian Nationality Is it considered rude to ask a Russian their nationality? Can you guys tell me what Russian parking sign looks like?
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ram Frequent Guest Joined: 07 Jul 2004 Posts: 38	Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2006 12:22 am    Post subject: Re: Cold Russian Boyfriend Argentine_Princessa wrote: Also, he is very intolerant of homosexuals. I have many homosexual or bisexual friends so I am naturally very accepting to them: they are people too! May be you should stop hanging out with homosexuals. A normal man can get very irritated by the perverts. You would not hang out with child molesters, would you? They are people too!
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tripchik Lounge Lizard Joined: 25 Mar 2005 Posts: 136 Location: Exile	Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2006 1:02 am    Post subject: Really. Who starts these bogus wind-up posts? There was one the other day about a Russian man who only got round to kissing after several years. Closely followed by another about a young Russian lover who was too 'orally bright' for his years. Come on. Get real. Neither had any ring of truth Surely 'Way To Russia' isn't so desperately short of poster traffic that it has to keep re-inventing the 'scamming Russian woman' and 'impotent Russian man' myths? If you are going to plant stories, why not plant bogus travel stories. That is the forte and marketing intention of the site, surely.
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Fire_Goddess Guest	Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2006 1:33 am    Post subject: Re: Cold Russian Boyfriend ram wrote: Argentine_Princessa wrote: Also, he is very intolerant of homosexuals. I have many homosexual or bisexual friends so I am naturally very accepting to them: they are people too! May be you should stop hanging out with homosexuals. A normal man can get very irritated by the perverts. You would not hang out with child molesters, would you? They are people too! Oh here we go! A homosexual and a child molester arent the same!
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vitalsigns Lounge Wizard Joined: 25 Dec 2004 Posts: 2784	Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2006 3:01 am    Post subject: tripchik wrote: Really. Who starts these bogus wind-up posts? Very good point. --------- Also, I think if this person is for real, she is a prime example of a "rescuer". Why would she still want to regain her love for him? If I were her I'd not drive by his house at night. But it's me. --------- WayToRussia pretty much covered it all.
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ram Frequent Guest Joined: 07 Jul 2004 Posts: 38	Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2006 4:48 am    Post subject: Re: Cold Russian Boyfriend Fire_Goddess wrote: Oh here we go! A homosexual and a child molester arent the same! It is not? Here we go: "American Man/Boy Love Association" http://216.220.97.17/ They say : "The issue of love between men and boys has intersected the gay movement since the late nineteenth century" http://216.220.97.17/pederasty.htm
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Fire_Goddess Guest	Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2006 5:03 am    Post subject: Re: Cold Russian Boyfriend ram wrote: Fire_Goddess wrote: Oh here we go! A homosexual and a child molester arent the same! It is not? Here we go: "American Man/Boy Love Association" http://216.220.97.17/ They say : "The issue of love between men and boys has intersected the gay movement since the late nineteenth century" http://216.220.97.17/pederasty.htm I guess you are not aware of the many CHILD MOLESTERS who are completely hetrosexual that molest small children causing them to question their sexuality later in life. Openly gay people do not molest children, that is a myth! I do not need to read sick propaganda on the subject.
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bryak WayToRussified Joined: 28 Oct 2005 Posts: 321 Location: Edmonton, Canada	Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2006 9:02 am    Post subject: tripchik wrote: Really. Who starts these bogus wind-up posts? That's what I was just wondering too. Then I realised that they always seem to get more replies than any other posts. Then I began to think that maybe this is the type of thing I should start posting. Then I thought better of it. Why am I even bothering to write this?
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carlitos Frequent Guest Joined: 01 Feb 2006 Posts: 15	Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2006 11:38 am    Post subject: [quote]May be you should stop hanging out with homosexuals. A normal man can get very irritated by the perverts. How abnormal can be somebody to make this kind of coments??? carlitos
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Rick Moderator Joined: 04 May 2005 Posts: 854 Location: Касабланка	Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2006 11:56 am    Post subject: To all guys that suspect this thread to be a wind-up: This thread was created by a new user, unique ip adress. If you think it's a wind-up, it's also a unique one.
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carlitos Frequent Guest Joined: 01 Feb 2006 Posts: 15	Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2006 12:05 pm    Post subject: Querida Princesa Argentina, Our latin culture has been based on so much love demonstration from parents, friends, sisters, brothers etc. Sometimes we expect the rest of the world to be like we are, Ready for the famous Piropo ( compliment ) and let' s not talk about how many times a day we say I love you, and how many times a day we want to hear that I love you back. I am not sure what is the problem at your relationship, but give a chance to the fact that different culture can cause friction to both parties. If you really love him give it a chance to talk about cultural differences. Maybe you did it already..... About homosexuality, and this is my particular opinion, many people have problems dealing with how open a homo man or lesbian can be. I would sugest you not to mix your gay friends in activities where your russian bf is present to avoid any kind of disturbances. If you think that your relationship is going apart due to how a Russian person can act, you might be wrong. I know how you can feel at this moments, lots of insecurities and wishing to have many answers, including maybe tarot readers, waytorussia forums, female friends, your gay friends etc etc etc I am personaly in love with somebody in Moscow, and my experience about expressing feelings etc is like a roller coaster, a perid of nice words compliments, and I miss you and another periond of what I call the basic soviet position....... be strong Saludos desde Holanda Carlitos
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