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Augustina
Just Starting
Joined: 30 Jul 2006
Posts: 3
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 Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2006 6:03 am Post subject: Russian pen pal |
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To Someone Who Has An Idea:
I feel silly putting this out there but I need some advice. I met a Russian online while seeking a pen pal. I find we like many similar things: interests, outdoors, walking, ideas,... It's a situation, however, where neither of us would probably ever meet. I am broke (no money). He is surviving on what little money he has. Plus, I am a divorced mother of one. I do not believe he has ever been married. I know he is single, though.
We write almost every day. Certainly our friendship will be a true one. He also has been a complete gentleman. He has not ever flirted or given me any idea that he may want to be more than friends. He has even joked a few times; he is always so matter-of-fact or serious. We mostly discuss our cultural differences, stories, books, photos of our perspective homeland. The problem, well, my problem, is that I know the reality of the situation - lack of money, distance, etc. However, I think I am really falling for this guy. I have no idea what he looks like, not really. And, I don't care. But, I don't know what to do. I know what NOT to do, and that is to tell him how I feel.
If anyone has any suggestion of what I can do to prevent myself from having dreams and daydreams about this guy I would be grateful. I have met different types of men through the years and have never felt like this about any of them. Maybe it is the safety of the distance between us. I don't know.
I have been reading a lot about Russia's culture and I can't find anything about ettiquette for friendships or relationships. I am happy that he writes and enjoys writing to me. I know that usually men have friendships with other men, not with women. So, I that just enforces the idea that we have a true friendship growing.
I would just like to stop spending so much time thinking about him.
I would appreciate someone's opinion, especially if the response comes from an older Russian. (We are both in our forties.)
Augustina |
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surfguy
Lounge Wizard
Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 6996
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| Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2006 6:11 am Post subject: |
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| Through e-mails a lot of it can in fact just be fantasies...Probably he'll never be able to come to you but you'd better be sure though before you chase him...good luck! |
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yorbcbud
Lounge Wizard
Joined: 17 Feb 2006
Posts: 4919
Location: Сорренто, Британская Колумбия, Канада
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| Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2006 6:24 am Post subject: Re: Russian pen pal |
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| Augustina wrote: | To Someone Who Has An Idea:
I feel silly putting this out there but I need some advice. I met a Russian online while seeking a pen pal. I find we like many similar things: interests, outdoors, walking, ideas,... It's a situation, however, where neither of us would probably ever meet. I am broke (no money). He is surviving on what little money he has. Plus, I am a divorced mother of one. I do not believe he has ever been married. I know he is single, though.
We write almost every day. Certainly our friendship will be a true one. He also has been a complete gentleman. He has not ever flirted or given me any idea that he may want to be more than friends. He has even joked a few times; he is always so matter-of-fact or serious. We mostly discuss our cultural differences, stories, books, photos of our perspective homeland. The problem, well, my problem, is that I know the reality of the situation - lack of money, distance, etc. However, I think I am really falling for this guy. I have no idea what he looks like, not really. And, I don't care. But, I don't know what to do. I know what NOT to do, and that is to tell him how I feel.
If anyone has any suggestion of what I can do to prevent myself from having dreams and daydreams about this guy I would be grateful. I have met different types of men through the years and have never felt like this about any of them. Maybe it is the safety of the distance between us. I don't know.
I have been reading a lot about Russia's culture and I can't find anything about ettiquette for friendships or relationships. I am happy that he writes and enjoys writing to me. I know that usually men have friendships with other men, not with women. So, I that just enforces the idea that we have a true friendship growing.
I would just like to stop spending so much time thinking about him.
I would appreciate someone's opinion, especially if the response comes from an older Russian. (We are both in our forties.)
Augustina |
I think it's great that you are getting to care for someone. Why in the world would you not want to feel that way about someone? Whatever will be, will be, but never ignore your feelings. The great thing is that you'll know each other very well, and for a long time. And how can anyone say what the future will hold for you? Let it play out. It almost seems like you don't think you deserve to be happy, and we all deserve happiness. I for one, wish you all the luck in getting together. Ken |
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MrSpice
Lounge Wizard
Joined: 14 Jul 2003
Posts: 3436
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| Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2006 9:37 am Post subject: Re: Russian pen pal |
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| Augustina wrote: | To Someone Who Has An Idea:
that just enforces the idea that we have a true friendship growing.
I would just like to stop spending so much time thinking about him.
I would appreciate someone's opinion, especially if the response comes from an older Russian. (We are both in our forties.)
Augustina |
Augustina - I think you should exchange pictures (to put a real face on your imaginary gentleman) and enjoy it while it lasts. And I think it won't last very long because there's no chance of you two getting together. I think you're in a situation where you are looking for someone and you are in need emotionally so this person far away feels your void. And the reality is that when you have this contact with someone far away, it's easy to idealize that person because you don't know him and don't know his negative side |
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