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Americans and a light bulb. Goto page 1, 2, 3  Next

Way to Russia Talk Lounge Forum Index -> Talk Lounge

Author	Message
RusskiCanadian23 Lounge Wizard Joined: 27 Mar 2007 Posts: 1104 Location: Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada/Ванкувер, Британская Колумбия, Канада	Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 6:47 am    Post subject: Americans and a light bulb. Q. How many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb? A. The Mexicans have to do even that for them. Q. How many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb? A. The lamp changed itself, after spending a few months in Guantanamo bay. Q. What words of wisdom are written on the pole of the US flag on the roof of the White House? A. It says "Made in China". Q. What is the most famous type of American cusine? A. McDonalds. Q. What is the new un-official name for Down-syndrom? A. The "George W. Bush syndrome".
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vitalsigns Lounge Wizard Joined: 25 Dec 2004 Posts: 2784	Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 6:51 am    Post subject: It took a 19 y.o. Russian-ukrainian-canadian-little-boy to make me laugh. He-he-he. Idi i esh svoju okroshku. Thank you Sergey, or whatever your name might be.
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RusskiCanadian23 Lounge Wizard Joined: 27 Mar 2007 Posts: 1104 Location: Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada/Ванкувер, Британская Колумбия, Канада	Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 6:57 am    Post subject: vitalsigns wrote: It took a 19 y.o. Russian-ukrainian-canadian-little-boy to make me laugh. He-he-he. Idi i esh svoju okroshku. Thank you Sergey, or whatever your name might be. Who's Sergey? My name's Victor.
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vitalsigns Lounge Wizard Joined: 25 Dec 2004 Posts: 2784	Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 6:59 am    Post subject: RusskiCanadian23 wrote: vitalsigns wrote: It took a 19 y.o. Russian-ukrainian-canadian-little-boy to make me laugh. He-he-he. Idi i esh svoju okroshku. Thank you Sergey, or whatever your name might be. Who's Sergey? My name's Victor. Xorosho Viktor. Pomolchi teper'.
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Fire_Goddess Guest	Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 9:14 am    Post subject: Vitalsigns did I say you could chat here???
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vitalsigns Lounge Wizard Joined: 25 Dec 2004 Posts: 2784	Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 9:39 am    Post subject: Fire_Goddess wrote: Vitalsigns did I say you could chat here??? I am sorry. No more. Time to snooze.
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nikir Frequent Guest Joined: 17 Mar 2010 Posts: 54	Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 4:28 pm    Post subject: Re: Americans and a light bulb. RusskiCanadian23 wrote: Q. How many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb? A. The Mexicans have to do even that for them. Q. How many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb? A. The lamp changed itself, after spending a few months in Guantanamo bay. Q. What words of wisdom are written on the pole of the US flag on the roof of the White House? A. It says "Made in China". Q. What is the most famous type of American cusine? A. McDonalds. Q. What is the new un-official name for Down-syndrom? A. The "George W. Bush syndrome". Витя, это прикол
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solis Talk Show Host Joined: 22 Mar 2007 Posts: 201 Location: Wandering	Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 4:30 pm    Post subject: Re: Americans and a light bulb. RusskiCanadian23 wrote: QQ. What is the new un-official name for Down-syndrom? A. The "George W. Bush syndrome". He doesn't just have Down syndrome, he has up left and right too. Q: How many americans does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, all they need to do is clap their hands for that.
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nikir Frequent Guest Joined: 17 Mar 2010 Posts: 54	Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 4:51 pm    Post subject: Quote: None, all they need to do is clap their hands for that. True, but I wonder how long for.
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RusskiCanadian23 Lounge Wizard Joined: 27 Mar 2007 Posts: 1104 Location: Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada/Ванкувер, Британская Колумбия, Канада	Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 7:52 pm    Post subject: vitalsigns wrote: RusskiCanadian23 wrote: vitalsigns wrote: It took a 19 y.o. Russian-ukrainian-canadian-little-boy to make me laugh. He-he-he. Idi i esh svoju okroshku. Thank you Sergey, or whatever your name might be. Who's Sergey? My name's Victor. Xorosho Viktor. Pomolchi teper'. Sam i pomolchi. A mne ne 19 a 32. Govoril ujhe! Anyway. Here's some more. Q. In America, how do you ask people on the street for directions? A. You don't. If you do that, you'll be sued for sexual assault! Q. In Russia, parents scare thier kids with the Domovoi, in England with witches, etc., what do parents in US scare their kids with? A. George W. Bush, Osama bin Laden and the CIA.
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RusskiCanadian23 Lounge Wizard Joined: 27 Mar 2007 Posts: 1104 Location: Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada/Ванкувер, Британская Колумбия, Канада	Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 9:03 pm    Post subject: THE DEMISE OF AN OLIGARH George W. Bush and Boris Berezovsy are sitting on a tree in London. Bush says: "Well, Boris, you think we should come down?" Berezovsky replies: "NO, the KGB, they KILL ME! They feed me POLONIUM and then THEY CUT MY HEAD OFF!" Bush: "Don't worry, Boris, I have a friend waiting down there, he is Russian too, and he promises nothing will happen to you!" "Ok, George, if you say so!" They come down, and there's Bush's Caddy limo, and then another, S600 Pullman pulls up beside it. Bush says, "Well, go on, Boris, this man says he'll not hurt you!" Berezovsky goes over to the Pullman, the door opens, he climbs in. In side, a light is shone into his eyes. "What... what's going on?!" A voice replies, and he recognises it right off the bat. The voice says: "Be quiet, filth, you are in Russia now! This isn't America, or England!" "Vladimir Vladimirovitch!?" "Yes, Boria, it is me." "Oh, well, you promised George that you'll not turn me over to GB, right?" "Hmm... maybe..." "And you don't work there anymore, now that you are President..." "Ah, Boria... Boria Boria Boria... didn't I tell you..." "What?!" And he hears the sound of a gun being drawn on the driver's side. "When you come to work on Lubianka, you don't ever quit Boria. When you put on a uniform of a chekist, you don't ever take it off. I am sorry, Boris Abramovich..." "Sorry for what" And he saw a gun pointed at his forehead by the driver. BOOOM The body slid over to the floor. And the driver asked, in the voice of Vice-Premier Ivanov: "We can still be there for Yeltsin's funeral, can't we Vladimir Vladimirovich?" "Off course we can, Serezha, off course we can. Now just get rid of this piece of crap first, ok, and then we'll go to Yeltsin's funeral. God, now that was a MAN!" ...To be continued
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RusskiCanadian23 Lounge Wizard Joined: 27 Mar 2007 Posts: 1104 Location: Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada/Ванкувер, Британская Колумбия, Канада	Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 9:05 pm    Post subject: vitalsigns wrote: He-he-he. Idi i esh svoju okroshku. Ok, A. Why would you assume that I am Ukrainian? B. I don't even like okroshka. C. Are you a moron? I'll translate so it is easier for you to understand: TI DURAK?
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vitalsigns Lounge Wizard Joined: 25 Dec 2004 Posts: 2784	Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 10:26 pm    Post subject: RusskiCanadian23 wrote: vitalsigns wrote: He-he-he. Idi i esh svoju okroshku. Ok, A. Why would you assume that I am Ukrainian? B. I don't even like okroshka. C. Are you a moron? I'll translate so it is easier for you to understand: TI DURAK? Da zachem ty tak uzh sebya raspilyaesh'. Sal'tca s chernym xlebom naresh s lukom, sol'yu i vse budet xorosho. Mi zh s toboi bratani.
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Fire_Goddess Guest	Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 10:30 pm    Post subject: nikir wrote: Quote: None, all they need to do is clap their hands for that. True, but I wonder how long for. Twice, havent you see that old commercial that goes: "Clap on"! (clap clap) "Clap off"! (clap clap), "Clap on, clap off, the clapper".
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krasatulya VIP Joined: 29 May 2005 Posts: 590	Posted: Thu Apr 26, 2007 10:46 pm    Post subject: Fire_Goddess wrote: nikir wrote: Quote: None, all they need to do is clap their hands for that. True, but I wonder how long for. Twice, havent you see that old commercial that goes: "Clap on"! (clap clap) "Clap off"! (clap clap), "Clap on, clap off, the clapper". Do you think those were a big sell when they came out? I never knew anyone that had one in their house.
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