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overseas_expat
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Joined: 11 Jan 2005
Posts: 741
Location: Moscow
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 Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2007 12:07 am Post subject: |
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Aren't you the guy who posted this?
http://www.waytorussia.net/TalkLounge/conversation9631.html
You're not going to find her. For all the brilliance of the fling, that girl left you with no information whatsoever. It was not an accident that she failed to tell you where she lived or how to contact her or what her phone number was. My guess is that you couldn't spell her last name if you wanted to. And she didn't help you with any those details. She got on a plane and disappeared.
She's gone and gone for good. She's not coming back. What you had was what you had and there isn't any more. Fini, done, over.
We've all been in love, we've all been dumped and duped, we've all suffered heartache. This may be your first experience with these matters, it's always painful and never easy. Learn from this experience, move on guy, let it go.
I don't want to sound harsh but there's no getting around it. That girl has gone back to her home and what she knows and the life she lives, and everything that happened is just a memory.
I'm sorry. |
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surfguy
Lounge Wizard
Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 6979
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| Posted: Mon Oct 01, 2007 7:01 am Post subject: |
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| yes...move on |
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V8orBetter
Frequent Guest
Joined: 12 Sep 2007
Posts: 32
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| Posted: Wed Oct 03, 2007 2:14 am Post subject: |
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| overseas_expat wrote: | Aren't you the guy who posted this?
http://www.waytorussia.net/TalkLounge/conversation9631.html
You're not going to find her. For all the brilliance of the fling, that girl left you with no information whatsoever. It was not an accident that she failed to tell you where she lived or how to contact her or what her phone number was. My guess is that you couldn't spell her last name if you wanted to. And she didn't help you with any those details. She got on a plane and disappeared.
She's gone and gone for good. She's not coming back. What you had was what you had and there isn't any more. Fini, done, over.
We've all been in love, we've all been dumped and duped, we've all suffered heartache. This may be your first experience with these matters, it's always painful and never easy. Learn from this experience, move on guy, let it go.
I don't want to sound harsh but there's no getting around it. That girl has gone back to her home and what she knows and the life she lives, and everything that happened is just a memory.
I'm sorry. |
For someone that did the following things:
1) she fed me french fries while i was driving
2) she always grabbed my hand when i was driving
3) she smiled when i looked at her
4) she would brush her fingers through my hair
5) she held my hand and kissed me when we at the mall and grocery stores
6) At diary queen or Wendy's, she would feed me some of her ice cream or chocolate shake.
7) when i told her i loved her, she'd smile and kiss me
 when i told her i wanted to be with her, she'd smile and kiss me
9) hugs and kisses me she first see me, like when i went up to her job or showed up at her apartment
10)asked me if my parents would accept her
I find it hard to accept the fact that it was just a fling. I think she really really really liked me and probably does not have access to the internet which is why she hasn't contacted me or is probably playing a waiting game to see how long I can go before I stop emailing her. |
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V8orBetter
Frequent Guest
Joined: 12 Sep 2007
Posts: 32
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| Posted: Wed Oct 03, 2007 2:16 am Post subject: |
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| V8orBetter wrote: | | overseas_expat wrote: | Aren't you the guy who posted this?
http://www.waytorussia.net/TalkLounge/conversation9631.html
You're not going to find her. For all the brilliance of the fling, that girl left you with no information whatsoever. It was not an accident that she failed to tell you where she lived or how to contact her or what her phone number was. My guess is that you couldn't spell her last name if you wanted to. And she didn't help you with any those details. She got on a plane and disappeared.
She's gone and gone for good. She's not coming back. What you had was what you had and there isn't any more. Fini, done, over.
We've all been in love, we've all been dumped and duped, we've all suffered heartache. This may be your first experience with these matters, it's always painful and never easy. Learn from this experience, move on guy, let it go.
I don't want to sound harsh but there's no getting around it. That girl has gone back to her home and what she knows and the life she lives, and everything that happened is just a memory.
I'm sorry. |
For someone that did the following things:
1) she fed me french fries while i was driving
2) she always grabbed my hand when i was driving
3) she smiled when i looked at her
4) she would brush her fingers through my hair
5) she held my hand and kissed me when we at the mall and grocery stores
6) At diary queen or Wendy's, she would feed me some of her ice cream or chocolate shake.
7) when i told her i loved her, she'd smile and kiss me
when i told her i wanted to be with her, she'd smile and kiss me
9) hugs and kisses me she first see me, like when i went up to her job or showed up at her apartment
10)asked me if my parents would accept her
I find it hard to accept the fact that it was just a fling. I think she really really really liked me and probably does not have access to the internet which is why she hasn't contacted me or is probably playing a waiting game to see how long I can go before I stop emailing her or maybe something happened at customs. Who knows if she made it back to Russia for sure. All I/we can do is assume until I actually hear from her. |
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surfguy
Lounge Wizard
Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 6979
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| Posted: Wed Oct 03, 2007 6:16 am Post subject: |
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| Well hope it works out for you...but beware...and if she is really into you she will reach for you |
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darthvader
WayToRussified
Joined: 09 Dec 2005
Posts: 427
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| Posted: Wed Oct 03, 2007 7:00 am Post subject: |
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Is it legal/possible for you to speak to her US University's "international office" (she studied in the US right)?
If its possible/legal, ask the staff there to contact her, to request of her to let you phone/write to her, without them telling you her personal details (address).
The university staff can then tell you if she does or does not want to be contacted. This perhaps will tell you whether or not to give up on her. 
She may have left an important item in the US that needs to be given to her? You know, that important photo collection/jewelry which you got for her (which you better now get!). Or, some other idea?
Of course only do this if you aren't a deranged psycho!!
Or, maybe best to send your little sister or a close female friend to do the KGB groundwork. Big, ugly, insane, lovestruck guys might be a little spooky. Unless you have some James Bond charm that this?
Seriously, without breaking privacy laws, you may be able to get her US university to reveal to you if she wants to be contacted or not. Depends on your subtlety, your skill with the Force and how weak-minded the people you have to deal with are, I guess!
Heck, I sure know how to kid around during work breaks! |
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V8orBetter
Frequent Guest
Joined: 12 Sep 2007
Posts: 32
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| Posted: Wed Oct 03, 2007 6:35 pm Post subject: |
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| surfguy wrote: | | Well hope it works out for you...but beware...and if she is really into you she will reach for you |
Very true |
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gomer
WayToRussified
Joined: 30 Mar 2007
Posts: 445
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| Posted: Wed Oct 03, 2007 7:02 pm Post subject: |
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| V8orBetter wrote: | 7) when i told her i loved her, she'd smile and kiss me
when i told her i wanted to be with her, she'd smile and kiss me
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#7 - Did she ever tell you that she loved you?
#8 - Did she ever tell you that she wanted to be with you? |
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surfguy
Lounge Wizard
Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 6979
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| Posted: Wed Oct 03, 2007 7:18 pm Post subject: |
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| gomer wrote: | | V8orBetter wrote: | 7) when i told her i loved her, she'd smile and kiss me
when i told her i wanted to be with her, she'd smile and kiss me
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#7 - Did she ever tell you that she loved you?
#8 - Did she ever tell you that she wanted to be with you? |
I suspected the same thing Gomer...very telling the fact that he didn't mention this. It's not normal behavior for someone who is in love. Well it's been quite some time now...and with no word...well I would move on. And just think of this experience with a smile...but also look to it as a learning experience. When women are in love they too will do what ever it takes. |
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V8orBetter
Frequent Guest
Joined: 12 Sep 2007
Posts: 32
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| Posted: Wed Oct 03, 2007 8:08 pm Post subject: |
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| gomer wrote: | | V8orBetter wrote: | 7) when i told her i loved her, she'd smile and kiss me
when i told her i wanted to be with her, she'd smile and kiss me
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#7 - Did she ever tell you that she loved you?
#8 - Did she ever tell you that she wanted to be with you? |
She like me ALOT. she told that to me and told all my friends she like me alot. As far as love, she said she didn't know what love was or how love felt (she's 20, so thats understandable), but she said she like me alot.
LOL, I remember when she was in the U.S. and she'd call me and if I wasn't at my phone she'd keep calling and calling until I answered. I miss having those 4-5 missed calls from her within a span of 10 minutes.
When she was with me, she'd screen the calls on my cell phone and ask me who was it. As soon as she got off from work, I was the first person she called.
One day when I went to see her at work (she was a lifeguard), I offered to take her home, and on the passenger seat I had a red rose laying there for her, she was soo excited to see it, she hugged and kissed me and said no one has every done that for her before and that was the first time I told her that I had fallen in love with her. ahhhh, memories.
to answer #8, she did say she wanted to be with me, but with us being so far apart for 10 months, it concerned her alot. Her biggest gripe was that she was worried I was going to email her for the first 2 or 3 months and then I was going to stop. She was also worried that I was going to find another girl.
When I asked her to be my girlfriend and to make it official, she said yes and hugged and kissed me.
This is why I think she's testing me.
I don't know how Russian women deal with their feelings as to whether they want to be with someone or not, but American women (26 and younger) always have these types of games to determine if this is the right guy for them or not. This is why I got on this forum to learn about Russia and Russian ways and Russian mentality. Not to be talked about, ridiculed or told to F off. |
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surfguy
Lounge Wizard
Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 6979
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| Posted: Wed Oct 03, 2007 9:35 pm Post subject: |
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Well here's the deal and for your sakes I hope you are right. And that it works out. But Russian women...if they are in love...like all women they are going to put forth the effort to have thier man. I've been in your shoes and it sucks...it's torture...and it's cruel. But all this if she is still interested then it is romantic. But ask any russian woman and they will tell you...something isn't right. In fact ask any woman. But this said...chase her then and prove your love...your devotion...I know what I would do...I would get the FSB to hunt her ass down and deport her back to the USA...or I'd put a mafia hit on her and have her kidnapped and delivered to a nice get away. Would say get on a plane...but Russia can be cruel...and since winter is approaching...you are running out of time. Well since she wasn
t supposed to be home until Sept 12th...hmmm perhaps she is at her dacha and picking mushrooms...no phone...no email etc. Or hmmm...maybe something else...maybe she lost your e-mail. Hmmm you should have gotten all her info... |
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saint_chrisburg
Frequent Guest
Joined: 03 Oct 2007
Posts: 46
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| Posted: Wed Oct 03, 2007 10:33 pm Post subject: |
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Dude, get over it.
1) She isn't being held up because of visa issues anywhere. As a Russian national, of course she wouldn't need a visa to enter her own country. Also, Russians are NOT required to have any sort of visa for Germany IF they are only in transit and do not leave the airport. Also, if she happened to overstay her visa for America, she probably got reprimanded by some immigration officer and would now have a "mark" against her record, but I doubt they would have held her for such a minor offence. So, in other words, that's not an issue.
2) As far as her coming back to America in the summer of '08, that's probably highly unlikely unless her family is pretty well-to-do. It's extremely difficult for a Russian of that age to get a visa to come to the States unless it's specifically a student visa (which in itself requires that you prove you have enough money in your bank account to support your entire time in America). Now if you wanted to bring her to the States, you could try to get a fiancee visa, but this takes a lot of paperwork and time (over a year, generally), so you're already too late for summer '08.
3) Living in a miniscule Russian town, you'll have nearly no chance of tracking her down. Hell, it's hard to track people down even in the larger Russian cities, e.g. Khabarovsk and Vladivostok come to mind. You'll especially have little chance if you know no Russian, which I'm assuming you don't.
4) Russian girls play guys just as much as American ones do. The difference is Russian girls have this ludicruous reputation for being goody-goody-gumdrops. If anything, it sounds like an end-of-summer fling, and she was having her fun, albeit at your emotional expense. And by the way, all Russians will call over and over again to get an answer. If you don't have an answering machine, they'll stay on the line letting the phone ring for 10 minutes. It gets real old real fast.
5) I will leave with a little hopeful insight though: it can be notoriously difficult for Russians to get into contact with people outside their immediate vicinity. For example, when my ex-wife (Russian) was at university (this is all in St. Petersburg, mind you) there was only one telephone in the entire dormitory building (no phones in the actual dorm rooms), which was for a rather large state university. And when you're a student, going to internet cafes can be an unnecessary expense - and if she lives in a small town, there probably is no internet cafe. Also, as you stated, it's usually more expensive to call from Russia to the US, although if she's smart she could always find cheap phonecards at the post office or bank. She might get in touch with you, just a matter of time.
So, move on. If she gets in contact, then great! But if not, how long are you going to waste waiting? And if you want a Russian girl so bad, there are plenty of beautiful ones already here in America, you just have to find them. There's a huge Russian community in NYC (walking down the street in the East Village, you'll hear almost more Russian than English, and there are Ukrainian/Russian restaurants there; for even more Russians, head down to Brighton Beach). Boston has a decent size of Ukrainian and Russian Jews. Chicago has a substatial Ukrainian population. There was even a tv show (serial-drama) in Russia about the Russian community in Los Angeles. Anyway, you get the point.
I'll get off my soapbox now. |
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V8orBetter
Frequent Guest
Joined: 12 Sep 2007
Posts: 32
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| Posted: Thu Oct 04, 2007 12:03 am Post subject: |
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| surfguy wrote: | Well here's the deal and for your sakes I hope you are right. And that it works out. But Russian women...if they are in love...like all women they are going to put forth the effort to have thier man. I've been in your shoes and it sucks...it's torture...and it's cruel. But all this if she is still interested then it is romantic. But ask any russian woman and they will tell you...something isn't right. In fact ask any woman. But this said...chase her then and prove your love...your devotion...I know what I would do...I would get the FSB to hunt her ass down and deport her back to the USA...or I'd put a mafia hit on her and have her kidnapped and delivered to a nice get away. Would say get on a plane...but Russia can be cruel...and since winter is approaching...you are running out of time. Well since she wasn
t supposed to be home until Sept 12th...hmmm perhaps she is at her dacha and picking mushrooms...no phone...no email etc. Or hmmm...maybe something else...maybe she lost your e-mail. Hmmm you should have gotten all her info... |
I should have gotten all of her information the last day she was at my apartment, but I'm soo ADD. I am trying to track her down to prove my love for her. I bet that's what she's wanting me to do.
what's a dacha and picking mushrooms?
what's so big about winter?
I'm from texas so I don't know anything about winters or russian winters. |
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V8orBetter
Frequent Guest
Joined: 12 Sep 2007
Posts: 32
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| Posted: Thu Oct 04, 2007 12:12 am Post subject: |
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| saint_chrisburg wrote: | Dude, get over it.
1) She isn't being held up because of visa issues anywhere. As a Russian national, of course she wouldn't need a visa to enter her own country. Also, Russians are NOT required to have any sort of visa for Germany IF they are only in transit and do not leave the airport. Also, if she happened to overstay her visa for America, she probably got reprimanded by some immigration officer and would now have a "mark" against her record, but I doubt they would have held her for such a minor offence. So, in other words, that's not an issue.
2) As far as her coming back to America in the summer of '08, that's probably highly unlikely unless her family is pretty well-to-do. It's extremely difficult for a Russian of that age to get a visa to come to the States unless it's specifically a student visa (which in itself requires that you prove you have enough money in your bank account to support your entire time in America). Now if you wanted to bring her to the States, you could try to get a fiancee visa, but this takes a lot of paperwork and time (over a year, generally), so you're already too late for summer '08.
3) Living in a miniscule Russian town, you'll have nearly no chance of tracking her down. Hell, it's hard to track people down even in the larger Russian cities, e.g. Khabarovsk and Vladivostok come to mind. You'll especially have little chance if you know no Russian, which I'm assuming you don't.
4) Russian girls play guys just as much as American ones do. The difference is Russian girls have this ludicruous reputation for being goody-goody-gumdrops. If anything, it sounds like an end-of-summer fling, and she was having her fun, albeit at your emotional expense. And by the way, all Russians will call over and over again to get an answer. If you don't have an answering machine, they'll stay on the line letting the phone ring for 10 minutes. It gets real old real fast.
5) I will leave with a little hopeful insight though: it can be notoriously difficult for Russians to get into contact with people outside their immediate vicinity. For example, when my ex-wife (Russian) was at university (this is all in St. Petersburg, mind you) there was only one telephone in the entire dormitory building (no phones in the actual dorm rooms), which was for a rather large state university. And when you're a student, going to internet cafes can be an unnecessary expense - and if she lives in a small town, there probably is no internet cafe. Also, as you stated, it's usually more expensive to call from Russia to the US, although if she's smart she could always find cheap phonecards at the post office or bank. She might get in touch with you, just a matter of time.
So, move on. If she gets in contact, then great! But if not, how long are you going to waste waiting? And if you want a Russian girl so bad, there are plenty of beautiful ones already here in America, you just have to find them. There's a huge Russian community in NYC (walking down the street in the East Village, you'll hear almost more Russian than English, and there are Ukrainian/Russian restaurants there; for even more Russians, head down to Brighton Beach). Boston has a decent size of Ukrainian and Russian Jews. Chicago has a substatial Ukrainian population. There was even a tv show (serial-drama) in Russia about the Russian community in Los Angeles. Anyway, you get the point.
I'll get off my soapbox now. |
1) I don't want Russian girl(S) so bad. I don't even care about the race or nationality. It's "THE GIRL" im interested in. I don't get caught up in looks I'm all about personality and character.
2) I met her in the U.S. she was her on a J1 R student visa.
3) It seems like you were duped over by your ex russian wife and you're taking all your anger out on me. I didn't do anything to you, I'm just here to see if I can get some assistance with finding someone.
what's goody goody gumdrops? |
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saint_chrisburg
Frequent Guest
Joined: 03 Oct 2007
Posts: 46
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| Posted: Thu Oct 04, 2007 12:28 am Post subject: |
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Well, I was with my ex-wife for five years, so I guess I was just as duped as every other guy who's been divorced - which is approximatley 50% of all men who have ever been married.
Also, I don't see what was angry about my post. My points were:
1) She's not held up anywhere because of visa issues;
2) Realistically she probably won't be able to come back next summer, (but then again she could - you could always visit her in Russia);
3) She'll be hard to track down, especially given the area she's from;
4) Russian girls aren't any different than American girls except in reputation alone (and how they dress/do their make-up);
5) It's hard sometimes to contact people, so perhaps she'll be able to get ahold of you soon;
and ultimately 6) better to move on rather than holding onto something that may not ever materialize. I'd give it maybe another month more? By then she should have definitely been able to contact you, no doubt.
I'm kind of surprised you've never heard the expression "goody-goody-gumdrops" - basically that somebody is so super nice and sweet and all the good things with none of the bad (how many people think Russian girls are).
If anything it sounds like you are becoming defensive because you're afraid that you may have just been a fling and nothing more. I didn't say you were duped, so I don't see why you felt the need to say I was. There is, after all, a huge difference in my book between a fling and purposefully duping somebody. This seems to have been a fling as she didn't gain anything material from being with you. |
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