Way to Russia Talk Lounge

MrSpice · Lounge Wizard Joined: 14 Jul 2003 Posts: 3431

Some russian jokes are difficult to translate, but some get translated quite easily:
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- My mother-in-law was bitten by a dog yesterday.
- How is she now ?
- She's fine. But, the dog died
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A pharmacist tell a customer.
- In order to buy arsenic you should need a legal prescription. A picture of your mother-in-law just isn't enough.
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A husband caught his wife with a lover.
"If I weren't a Party member," the husband shouted to his wife, "I would have broken your ribs and tossed you out of the window."
Lifting her hands to the sky, she answered,"Bless you and The Communist Party!"
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Gorbachev sent some sausage overseas for analysis. Soon he received an answer:
-Mister Gorbachev, no helminth were detected in your excrement.
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A speaker explains the advantages of communism to the residents of a lunatic asylum. Everybody applauds except for one guy standing at a distance.
-"Why aren't you clapping," asks the speaker.
-"I'm a nurse," he answers, "not a madman."

byte · Frequent Guest Joined: 29 Aug 2005 Posts: 20

MrSpice · Lounge Wizard Joined: 14 Jul 2003 Posts: 3431

for those who care, a few more:

At the International Genetics Meeting.
American reports:
- We crossed chickens with cows. The new breed simultaneously produces milk, meat and eggs.
Report from France:
- We succeeded in crossbreeding flies and bees. The hybrid flies over the trash fields and produces honey.
- And we crossed a melon with cockroaches, says the Russian. When you cut this melon, seeds run away by themselves.
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- Who likes music? - asks a commander.
- Two soldiers step forward.
- All right. I bought a piano. Take it to my apartment on the fourth floor.
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Two young women are talking.
"I’m going to marry a man I fall in love with."
"Me too, if I don’t find anything better."
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"Honey," she says, "after our marriage I’ll share with you all your troubles and problems."
"But, dear," he replies, "I don’t have any."
"But we’re not married yet," she says.
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A restaurant patron tells the waitress, "I’m so hungry, I could eat a dead rat!"
"Then you’ve come to the right place, sir."
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"Waiter, there’s a dead cockroach in my coffee!"
"So what do you want now, a funeral?"