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nigelinleeds
Lounge Lizard
Joined: 21 Jun 2005
Posts: 108
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 Posted: Sat Sep 17, 2005 2:48 pm Post subject: Eye contact and smiling |
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| The last time I visted Angarsk (Siberia) I went for a meal and a man with us said he had noticed women looking at me in the street, he said it was because I dressed differntly to the locals, the women all disagreed and and said it was because I make eye contact with women and smile. They said that is why they looked at me. Is it unusual to make eye contact. It was the same when I held doors open for people, they seemed shocked, and rarely said thank you. |
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overseas_expat
VIP
Joined: 11 Jan 2005
Posts: 741
Location: Moscow
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| Posted: Sat Sep 17, 2005 4:53 pm Post subject: |
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Eye contact and smiling brand you as a foreigner in Moscow. As does apologizing for bumping into someone. Good manners are an unpracticised civility here. Don't know if this is true all over the country. Moscow is really bad.
Russian men are the rudest people in the world. Every day some big half drunken brute shoves me out of his way at a kiosk or in the Metro. They spit everywhere. They growl and grimace or ignore you if you speak to them. Dreadful men. No wonder Russian women are so anxious to marry a foreigner. |
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Vic
Talk Show Host
Joined: 29 Mar 2005
Posts: 298
Location: Moscow, Russian Federation
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| Posted: Sat Sep 17, 2005 7:57 pm Post subject: |
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| overseas_expat wrote: | Eye contact and smiling brand you as a foreigner in Moscow. As does apologizing for bumping into someone. Good manners are an unpracticised civility here. Don't know if this is true all over the country. Moscow is really bad.
Russian men are the rudest people in the world. Every day some big half drunken brute shoves me out of his way at a kiosk or in the Metro. They spit everywhere. They growl and grimace or ignore you if you speak to them. Dreadful men. No wonder Russian women are so anxious to marry a foreigner. |
Ha-Ha-Ha
Eye contact does not brand you as a foreigner at all. We even discussed this to death with a friend - it brands you as a person who is sure of himself. We do however love to make eye contact to gals looking at us without cracking a smile at all, usually she "she shoots her eyes into the floor" or if you smile while looking at her (as opposed to not cracking a smile), she will do the same but only with a huge smile on her face. A little off topic but interesting anyways.
I don't know where it is that you walk, but most people that bump into me apologize (no, I am not 2m tall and 120kg in weight!) Ofcourse I do have the occasional dumbass (like today) that smacked me with a metal part from his strap when he turned around on the escalator (He didn't even notice it either) but after I said "Spasibo", he turned around puzzled, so I said "You just smacked me on the head with your bag" So he apologized and that was that. It is probably you that is running in the metro and when people walk into your way you consider that it is their responsibility to apologize to you.
Vic |
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Bendigo
Just Starting
Joined: 28 Aug 2005
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Mon Sep 19, 2005 12:59 am Post subject: |
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| "Good manners are an unpracticised civility here" I agree this can often be true in Moscow, but it should not deter one from using good manners. |
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init6
WayToRussified
Joined: 01 Jun 2005
Posts: 363
Location: Москва, Россия
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| Posted: Mon Sep 19, 2005 3:29 pm Post subject: |
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Vic, per usual ( ), has taken the unpopular view here. Personally, I don't try to make eye contact with people. I don't stare at the floor on the metro, so it's inevitable, of course. I've never been one who's quick to smile at girls I don't know (even if I want to), so usually the "eyes shoot to the floor," but it's not because I have this idea that I need to be some macho idiot who grimaces and growls. On the other hand, I think I'm doing a pretty good job of blending in. I don't dress all in black or brown, but I haven't noticed Russians dressed this either. I do NOT, however, own a pair of white shoes (tennis shoes, anyway) which apparently is a giant neon "FOREIGNER!" sign. I only say I'm doing a good job because Russians often speak to me in rapid-fire Russian which, I presume (perhaps wrongly), is because they assume I'm Russian. I'm not 2m tall, but I am a "big boy," but I don't go out of my way to avoid eye contact.
I simply try to look confident and pretend to know where I'm going, even if I'm lost. Other than my militsiya incident, I've come across roving gangs of youths at night without a glance. I don't walk around like an idiot with a grin on my face, staring up at buildings. On the other hand, I think even if you do walk around smiling (I never did this even in Florida or anywhere in the USA, and I just don't like people who seem to smile for no reason other than they're oblivious to life and thing everything is wonderful) you won't have a problem. I worried myself stupid before I came here and I even convinced myself that I would be killed in Moscow. It was utterly ridiculous. This city is SAFE, plain and simple.
Just don't act like an idiot and you'll be fine (don't give me a bunch of shit here, Vic  ).
As always, I've gotten way off on a tangent, but I'm having a great time here and I finally got my passport back today so I'll be a mobilny-toting fool by the end of tonight! 
Russia is a great place, just don't think it's just like the West, even in Moscow - cause it damned sure ain't! |
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Vic
Talk Show Host
Joined: 29 Mar 2005
Posts: 298
Location: Moscow, Russian Federation
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| Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2005 8:29 pm Post subject: |
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| init6 wrote: |
Just don't act like an idiot and you'll be fine |
Plagiarism!!  See you in Meschansky on friday! 
Really - nice post and glad that you are liking it
Vic |
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mediashark
Moderator
Joined: 04 Nov 2004
Posts: 1599
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| Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2005 8:49 pm Post subject: |
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| I'll be free on a weekend, except for horse-riding (you can join me). You got my number too! |
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cyndy22
Lounge Wizard
Joined: 15 Oct 2004
Posts: 1076
Location: massachusetts
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| Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2005 8:53 pm Post subject: |
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I can understand wanting to blend in from a safety point of view. But really what is so terrible if people think you are a foreigner? Why do you want to pass yourself off as Russian? Surely Moscow has many foreigners. Perhaps it is a fantasy and that's cool but I also happen to think that is's OKAY for people to be themselves which might include wearing sneakers, different clothing styles, speaking with accents, different languages, and making or not making eye contact. We are not all clones and differences can be interesting.  |
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vorteks
VIP
Joined: 08 Aug 2004
Posts: 571
Location: European Union
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| Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2005 11:52 pm Post subject: |
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You are soooo right...just imagine a world infested of billions of clones of Cyndy22s...I think that day, i ll get the courage to ride a motorcycle in Moscow  |
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cyndy22
Lounge Wizard
Joined: 15 Oct 2004
Posts: 1076
Location: massachusetts
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| Posted: Wed Sep 21, 2005 12:55 am Post subject: |
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| same could be said to you V! |
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mediashark
Moderator
Joined: 04 Nov 2004
Posts: 1599
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| Posted: Wed Sep 21, 2005 3:30 pm Post subject: |
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| cyndy22 wrote: | | I can understand wanting to blend in from a safety point of view. But really what is so terrible if people think you are a foreigner? Why do you want to pass yourself off as Russian? Surely Moscow has many foreigners. Perhaps it is a fantasy and that's cool but I also happen to think that is's OKAY for people to be themselves which might include wearing sneakers, different clothing styles, speaking with accents, different languages, and making or not making eye contact. We are not all clones and differences can be interesting. |
Well said... as for me no matter what I do I'll still look foreign and I'm still safe and alive. On my best days I could be mistaken for a Central Asian... but never a Russian. |
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J1
Just Starting
Joined: 23 Feb 2006
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Thu Feb 23, 2006 7:08 am Post subject: White tennis shoes... |
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I found this thread informative and interesting. The comment about the white tennis shoes branding one as a foreinger was just too funny...
J1 |
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mediashark
Moderator
Joined: 04 Nov 2004
Posts: 1599
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| Posted: Thu Feb 23, 2006 2:22 pm Post subject: |
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| white tennis shoes... I swear I saw them for sale at a posh sporting store! |
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Rick
Moderator
Joined: 04 May 2005
Posts: 854
Location: Касабланка
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| Posted: Thu Feb 23, 2006 2:36 pm Post subject: |
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| I saw plenty badly-dressed Russian guys with white sports shoes... |
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CruisingRam
Frequent Guest
Joined: 26 Feb 2006
Posts: 32
Location: Anchorage Alaska
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| Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2006 6:33 pm Post subject: |
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| cyndy22 wrote: | | I can understand wanting to blend in from a safety point of view. But really what is so terrible if people think you are a foreigner? Why do you want to pass yourself off as Russian? Surely Moscow has many foreigners. Perhaps it is a fantasy and that's cool but I also happen to think that is's OKAY for people to be themselves which might include wearing sneakers, different clothing styles, speaking with accents, different languages, and making or not making eye contact. We are not all clones and differences can be interesting. |
One word- MONEY- when a Russian business person finds out you are American- in any city in russia- the price will go up enormously!
I can blend as a Russian man very well- and yes, part of this is not smiling, and if I make eye contact, it is purposeful with a look of "I am in Charge here".
I am a tall man as well, and noticed not as many tall men in the population, so I bought russian style shoes (black, square toes), and wear a black leather jacket- jeans are okay. I never speak when i want to buy something- Either Babulya or my driver does that for me.
Russia is not Dangerous!
You want Dangerous? Try LA! Or Oakland! etc
Beirut in the middle of a civil war is more dangerous than most American cities at night!
But blending in with the locals, when you can (I can NEVER blend in, in say, Indonesia or Singapre LOL
Blending in with the locals when you can saves you money and is always safer- no matter what country you are in. |
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