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cardiokat
Just Starting
Joined: 04 Aug 2008
Posts: 1
Location: The United States
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 Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 10:25 pm Post subject: Please tell me why... |
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Hi all,
I'm new to here and would like someone to comment on my relatinoship with a russian man.
I came from Hong Kong, going college in the US where I met my current boyfriend, who is from Russia and 2 years younger than me.
I have to say that,at first, he was the sweetest gentleman I've ever met, he even told me he loved me first without me asking him. Then, as time goes by, I started to ask him about his family, and there, the problem striked.
We've been together for more than a year now, and not even a single friend (let alone his family!) of his backhome knows about me, or if he has a girlfriend at all. I asked him many times why the reason was and he'd only said because he thinks that's best for both of us. According to him, his mother and sister will get "psychotic" and "insane" if he told them that he's got a girlfriend. However, I told my parents and my brother about him, even though I normally don't let them know about my love-life. I did because I care about him being my boyfriend and that I saw us being together for a long time, otherwise I wouldn't have bothered. I'm now just really frustrated that why he hasn't done so yet. Is he because he's Russian? Is that something commonly found in Russian guys?
In addition to that, which I consider as a serious problem, he also seems to be getting more and more private nowadays. He said that he wants his own space and that I get cranky all the time. (I admit that I'm unhappy at times,but that's because he would never call me and doesn't seem caring enough).
I question about this relationship, but,above all, I still have love for him and I don't know why. My friends have told me that I should quit being with him but I just can't let go. I want to fix this problem but he is not willing to talk. This is really frustrating,someone please help me. |
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overseas_expat
VIP
Joined: 11 Jan 2005
Posts: 612
Location: Moscow
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| Posted: Tue Aug 05, 2008 5:11 am Post subject: Re: Please tell me why... |
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| cardiokat wrote: | He said that he wants his own space and that I get cranky all the time. (I admit that I'm unhappy at times,but that's because he would never call me and doesn't seem caring enough).
I question about this relationship, but,above all, I still have love for him and I don't know why. My friends have told me that I should quit being with him but I just can't let go. I want to fix this problem but he is not willing to talk. This is really frustrating,someone please help me. |
His being Russian is not the problem. When a guy from Australia or Zimbabwe or Guatemala or anywhere else
1) refuses to inform his family about you
2) Doesn't call and says he "needs his own space"
3) and is "not willing to talk"
The relationship is over. It happens. Move on. Leave him alone and go one with your life. He's done, let go.
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Ender
WayToRussified
Joined: 23 Aug 2006
Posts: 302
Location: Ural mountains
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| Posted: Tue Aug 05, 2008 6:16 am Post subject: Re: Please tell me why... |
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First of all it is almost impossible to give 100% accurate answer when it touch such sensitive theme. Maybe real things looks completely different from what you are telling.
| cardiokat wrote: | | I'm now just really frustrated that why he hasn't done so yet. Is he because he's Russian? |
No. It is because he is mommy boy. Really.
Now look. If they able to send his son to study something in USA it looks like they are enough wealthy family. Who is he? He is nothing, a boy raised in the comfort. If his family "get psychotic" about his affairs they can simply move him back to Russia. That's what he is afraid most I suppose. And word "sister". As far as I know many boys do not recognize sister as any kind of authority even if she is 10 years older, but this one said "sister would get pshychotic".
Additionally you: a) Chinese (read - different nation and not one that perceived as rich and successfull, some parents quite sensitive about this matter) b) 2 years older than he (normally he must be older than you 1..5 years). It doesn't matter how he love you or not but his family just wouldn't understand his choice. In case if he is self sufficient (independent) man nobody inside his family dare to point him what to do, but it looks like he is only boy.
| cardiokat wrote: | | Is that something commonly found in Russian guys? |
No. You have rare but unfortunate case.
| cardiokat wrote: | | I question about this relationship, but,above all, I still have love for him and I don't know why. My friends have told me that I should quit being with him but I just can't let go. I want to fix this problem but he is not willing to talk. This is really frustrating,someone please help me. |
I agree with your friends. Love require will and desire of the both partners.
Sorry if I said something harsh.
Last edited by Ender on Tue Aug 05, 2008 6:18 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Ender
WayToRussified
Joined: 23 Aug 2006
Posts: 302
Location: Ural mountains
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| Posted: Tue Aug 05, 2008 6:18 am Post subject: Re: Please tell me why... |
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| overseas_expat wrote: | His being Russian is not the problem. When a guy from Australia or Zimbabwe or Guatemala or anywhere else
1) refuses to inform his family about you
2) Doesn't call and says he "needs his own space"
3) and is "not willing to talk"
The relationship is over. It happens. Move on. Leave him alone and go one with your life. He's done, let go. |
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