Way to Russia Talk Lounge

castorypollux · Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2005 1:09 am Post subject: Russian Adoption

Ive read in many adoption books that adoption is frowned upon in Russia,but no one has given me an honest answer yet. My husband and I are adopting from Russia and I was wondering if someone can give me an honest answer. When Ive spoken to people who have brought their Russian kids home to America they say the kids are bright and happy,so what is the stigma?Also, how do Russian parents parent their kids verses American parents?

renwan · Talk Show Host Joined: 29 Oct 2004 Posts: 204

You can not compare the methods of education, we now and sicne 1991 live harsh times, a kid grown up in russia will do everything he cans to get what he wants,kill...slay...hit...in escence we are more ready for life than any of you westerners,thats the "magic" of "russia".

cyndy22 · Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2005 3:26 am Post subject:

Adoption in any country has built in stigma. It has nothing to do that many adopted children are intelligent, healthy and beautiful. There will always be a stigma associated with givng up one's biologogical child. It is a very painful and difficult thing to do. In spite of any love that of course biological parents, social and economic conditions are primary reasons parents give up their children for adoption. And of course there is shame, humility, disappointment, anger, sadness and so many other feelings that parents and their extended families experience. This situation is not only typical of Russia but is universal.

Parenting is different for all families. Even in the US. But life is indeed very different in Russia vs. US. As a parent of an adopted child from Russia, my best advice for anyone is to learn about Russia, the language, culture and try your best to enjoy the richness and differences in this country. It is a lifelong process.

mr. barley · Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2005 8:01 am Post subject:

I'm sure Russia doesn't want to lose their people to other country just as any other country. But as I see it there are a lot of orphans in Russia and according to what I've read it's about a 50/50 split as far as Russian adoption and international adoption. There are about 140,000 children in orphanges at present time and I realize some are unadoptable because of mental and physical reasons, but to close down international adoption because( and I don't make light of this) 12 children have been killed by their adoptive parents in the last 14 years is a sorry excuse. These poor children are destined to sit in orphanages without the one on one love and attention they need to go forward in life as an adult. I have a friend from Russia and he has told me stories about what generally happens with lifetime orphans upon release from the system and it's very sad.

My wife and I adopted a wonderful little Russian boy about 6 months ago. He's really been a joy in our lives and I can't imagine our life without him.We will make sure he is aware of his Russian heritage and we plan on taking him on a return voyage when he's about 11 years old to show him where he came from.

Personally, we had a great time in Russia (Moscow)and we'd probably return sooner if Alexander wasn't so young. We'd like to wait until he's older and can understand a bit more of what's going on.

Good luck castorypollux

renwan · Talk Show Host Joined: 29 Oct 2004 Posts: 204

Does the boy stills keeping his Russian citizenship?

mr. barley · Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2005 2:09 pm Post subject:

Yes. Russia recognizes dual citizenship until the child is 18 years old. I suppose once they are adults they can make their own decision.

renwan · Talk Show Host Joined: 29 Oct 2004 Posts: 204

AFAIK it recognizes it also when you are older than 18..

Anya · Lounge Lizard Joined: 19 Feb 2004 Posts: 157

It's very sad that recently there has been yet another case of an adopted child being killed by the parents.

However, on the bright side... there's this new program for orphans who have grown up and are able to take internships at large companies: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/3159582.stm

Mogsfan · WayToRussified Joined: 03 Nov 2004 Posts: 490

That is indeed sad, Anya. I hope Russians aren't getting a bad impression of North Americans based on the stats there. I think most families that adopt have good intentions. It is really troubling though that a lot of these adoption agencies are corrupt or insincere of wanting to help. As I am sure, that a lot of the Russian connections are in it for the money and don't have the children's needs as priorities.

I posted about a social problem in Russia a while ago. I don't think I was way off if I applied it more as a general (unspecific) issue. It was intended to be directed at the government anyways.

e · VIP Joined: 23 Apr 2005 Posts: 654

Vic · Posted: Tue Jul 26, 2005 8:30 am Post subject:

Because Russians value their own biological child much more than a "чужой" child. Honestly, I agree with this. Nomatter how perfect an adopted child is, it is not your blood, something is missing.
Vic