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sara
Just Starting
Joined: 28 Jul 2005
Posts: 3
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 Posted: Thu Jul 28, 2005 3:11 pm Post subject: presents |
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hello everyone,I am new here and I have a question....
I am in love with a russian man (that lives in my country)and he is well aware of this,and I believe he has feelings for me too,it's a very complicated situation and I am careful not to give to many details to avoid being recognized here...
I gave him a little present,nothing big,just something I thought he could use...he was very happy with it and now insists on buying something for me,and I wonder,is this a Russian custom?if you get a present you must buy one in return?of course I want to believe that this is a sign of his feelings for me,that is why I really want to know if it is a custom....
Thanks to anyone who answers me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  |
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Anya
Lounge Lizard
Joined: 19 Feb 2004
Posts: 157
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| Posted: Thu Jul 28, 2005 3:25 pm Post subject: |
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| This topic has come up a lot of times. Use the search function to look up old threads. Good luck! |
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MrSpice
Lounge Wizard
Joined: 14 Jul 2003
Posts: 3436
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| Posted: Thu Jul 28, 2005 3:55 pm Post subject: |
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| I don't think this is specifically a russian custom. It's just common sense - people want to give gifts to the ones they love, especially in return. I hope you are not as naive as one can guess from your posting :) As long as it's not a marriage certificate, any gift is a good gift. |
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sara
Just Starting
Joined: 28 Jul 2005
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Thu Jul 28, 2005 4:03 pm Post subject: |
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no I'm not naive and I did search but couldn't really find anything....
And as to why I asked,very much has happened between us and the situation is VERY complex,and I give many presents to my friends for no special occasion(it was not his birthday or a special day)and also they then don't insist on immediately buying something in return...he really insisted and wanted to know what I want to receive...that is why I wondered if that is in the Russian culture,that he more or less has to give me something now...because in my country that is certainly not required!!!so please do not call me naive,for wanting more background information on russian traditions and culture!!!!   |
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e
VIP
Joined: 23 Apr 2005
Posts: 654
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Anya
Lounge Lizard
Joined: 19 Feb 2004
Posts: 157
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| Posted: Thu Jul 28, 2005 5:24 pm Post subject: |
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Everybody likes receiving presents, though some people don't think that they should gift you with something in return.
It's nothing very 'Russian' about this. It just depends on the person. Obviously your man loves you very much and knows that you love him, and wants to express his love by giving back a present. I note that Russians do enjoy gift-giving than most people, though they are usually small items like chocolate, wine, flowers etc. especially from guys to girls. |
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MrSpice
Lounge Wizard
Joined: 14 Jul 2003
Posts: 3436
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| Posted: Thu Jul 28, 2005 6:06 pm Post subject: |
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| It's pretty much the same in the US. |
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sara
Just Starting
Joined: 28 Jul 2005
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Thu Jul 28, 2005 6:10 pm Post subject: |
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e...yes those posts are all about gifts but not about my specific question,because I already gave him a gift,something very small,and I wanted to know if he now feels obliged to buy me something,if that is the russian way,you get a gift and now you HAVE to buy one back...and this I didn't find in those posts,only that if you buy something expensive they would feel like they have to buy you something,but my gift was really very small,inexpensive and was more of a joke about something he had said to me....
and though he is aware of the fact that I love him,I am not sure of his feelings towards me,he gave me lots of hints that he feels the same but nothing more,he is very closed and doesn't talk much,keeps most people at a distance,lets me get closer to him but not close enough for me,and we are not in a relationship(yet?)and so far not even a kiss.....so now you understand a bit more of why I wanted to know this?and well I think I got my answer,since no-one said that it's an obligation,Iguess it's especially for me!!!!  thanks for the help!!! |
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MrSpice
Lounge Wizard
Joined: 14 Jul 2003
Posts: 3436
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| Posted: Thu Jul 28, 2005 6:42 pm Post subject: |
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| once again, I don't think it's in any way different from any other country. Secondly, it may depend on where he lives and what kind of family he is coming from. It's a general human situation, don't overestimate the cultural differences on this one. |
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