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surfguy
Lounge Wizard
Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 6979
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 Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2007 11:18 pm Post subject: where to live |
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Where to Live After Retirement
You can live in Phoenix , Arizona where.....
1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
2. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5. You know that " dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.
6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!
You can Live in California where...
1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought
You can Live in New York City where...
1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan
2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
3. You think Central Park is "nature,"
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
5. You've worn out a car horn.
6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.
You can Live in Maine where...
1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco .
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.
You can Live in the Deep South where...
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2. "y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
3. "He needed killin'" is a valid defense.
4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, MARY BETH, etc.
You can live in Colorado where...
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.
You can live in the Midwest where...
1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"
AND You can live in Florida where..
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people. |
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krasatulya
VIP
Joined: 29 May 2005
Posts: 590
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| Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2007 11:22 pm Post subject: |
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| Ha, I like that. They should have some for Massachusetts; there are some funny points that could be made about the state. |
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Fire_Goddess
Guest
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| Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2007 11:25 pm Post subject: Re: where to live |
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| surfguy wrote: | | 3. "He needed killin'" is a valid defense. |
Thats just too funny!  |
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surfguy
Lounge Wizard
Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 6979
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| Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 12:00 am Post subject: |
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| it's good to see the women of the forum on today...jojo should be getting off of work soon to join in on the laughs |
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gomer
WayToRussified
Joined: 30 Mar 2007
Posts: 445
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| Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 12:08 am Post subject: |
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| How does 'y'all' and 'all y'all' translate to Russian? |
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solis
Talk Show Host
Joined: 22 Mar 2007
Posts: 201
Location: Wandering
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| Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 12:12 am Post subject: Re: where to live |
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| surfguy wrote: | 6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.
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Ha, that one's actually pretty true. I never really look people in the eyes and always look off to the side acting like something is catching my attention. Just about everyone i've talked to said my stare is intimidating. So i never really look people in the eyes...Or wear sun glasses. |
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jo-jo-7
Just Starting
Joined: 16 Mar 2010
Posts: 6
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| Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 3:41 am Post subject: |
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| So, is everybody finally laughing...hope so. |
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surfguy
Lounge Wizard
Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 6979
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| Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 4:29 am Post subject: |
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| that's not funny JoJo |
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jo-jo-7
Just Starting
Joined: 16 Mar 2010
Posts: 6
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| Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 4:33 am Post subject: |
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| surfguy wrote: | | that's not funny JoJo |
Yes it is.....hahahahahahahahahahahaha.... |
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RusskiCanadian23
Lounge Wizard
Joined: 27 Mar 2007
Posts: 1104
Location: Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada/Ванкувер, Британская Колумбия, Канада
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| Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 4:49 am Post subject: |
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| gomer wrote: | | How does 'y'all' and 'all y'all' translate to Russian? |
"y'all"="Ты" and "all y'all"="Вы". |
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Fire_Goddess
Guest
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| Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 9:11 am Post subject: Re: where to live |
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| solis wrote: | | Ha, that one's actually pretty true. I never really look people in the eyes and always look off to the side acting like something is catching my attention. Just about everyone i've talked to said my stare is intimidating. So i never really look people in the eyes...Or wear sun glasses. |
So you've got that serial killer look about you? I drive my friends nuts whenever we are out because I am always pointing people out putting them into 3 categories if they have the right look: rapists, serial killers, or crack heads, etc.  |
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jo-jo-7
Just Starting
Joined: 16 Mar 2010
Posts: 6
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| Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 2:34 pm Post subject: Re: where to live |
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| Fire_Goddess wrote: | | solis wrote: | | Ha, that one's actually pretty true. I never really look people in the eyes and always look off to the side acting like something is catching my attention. Just about everyone i've talked to said my stare is intimidating. So i never really look people in the eyes...Or wear sun glasses. |
So you've got that serial killer look about you? I drive my friends nuts whenever we are out because I am always pointing people out putting them into 3 categories if they have the right look: rapists, serial killers, or crack heads, etc. |
Yeah, some of my friends think I am being silly but, it's the ones who wear the "members only" jackets that does it for me. They have that very lonely blue eyed slash your throat look, hair just a little messy like Willian Gacy (The Clown Killer). I refrain from socializing with them and also, the men who drive vans. I stay away from them. They have bodies in those vans. I am not kidding. I don't go near any vans ...  |
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nikir
Frequent Guest
Joined: 17 Mar 2010
Posts: 54
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| Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 2:59 pm Post subject: |
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| Jojo I'm not sure what you are on about here, but you are coming across as if you are just a tad unbalanced. |
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gomer
WayToRussified
Joined: 30 Mar 2007
Posts: 445
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| Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 3:06 pm Post subject: Re: where to live |
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| jo jo 7 wrote: | | I don't go near any vans ... |
Lee Iacocca likes you anyway. |
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jo-jo-7
Just Starting
Joined: 16 Mar 2010
Posts: 6
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| Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 3:12 pm Post subject: |
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| nikir wrote: | | Jojo I'm not sure what you are on about here, but you are coming across as if you are just a tad unbalanced. |
Well, Fire G. was on the subject. Nikir, it is just the female cautious mind thats' all. Tell me you don't get suspicious of weird looking people sometimes? |
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