Way to Russia Talk Lounge

cyndy22 · Posted: Fri May 06, 2005 5:38 am Post subject: Traditions

I have not been so fortunate as to attend a Russian wedding or other happy important occassion. Perhaps some of the Russians here can provide information as to what Russian weddings are like. And I wonder what weddings are like for Russian immigrants as well. I'm sure there must be a record number of toastings in any event! I suppose it depends on one's religion. If anyone can comment on this topic that would be great.

MrSpice · Lounge Wizard Joined: 14 Jul 2003 Posts: 3436

In New York City, russian immigrants celebrate weddings at either one of many Russian restaurants in Brooklyn where you get dancing, shows, music, etc. or one of the caterring halls if they a big wedding. Restaurants usually offers food, music and people order flowers, nad possibly religious service. Most russian immigrants in NY are Jewish, so it's a rabbi, although many don't involve any religious service, since many russians are not religious, although tend to become more religious after they've lived in America for a while.

Some russian families, especially from large cities, don't have that many relatives. So, the wedding is going to be 50-60 people in size. At the same time, I know quite a few russian immigrants that have 200-people weddings at a fancy cattering hall - also in Brooklyn - and had bridal shower, send out fancy expensive invitations and order limo, buy expensive dresses - basically spend all of the money they have.

So, it all depends on how rich people are, how much they want to spend, etc.

I also know one couple who did the ceremony at city hall and then had relatively small celebration at a Brighton beach restaurant for friends and family - not very formal. They did not want to spend much.

cyndy22 · Posted: Sat May 07, 2005 12:30 am Post subject:

Do you think that those who have large weddings which cost so much money, are more Americanized? The whole expensive big fancy wedding is out of control in US. You could put a down payment on a house for what many people spend on a big fancy wedding. I am curious about any speciasl traditionsd that go on at Russian weddings like dances, toasts, songs, stories, food and drink, gifts etc. BTW when are you getting married Mr. Spice?

MrSpice · Lounge Wizard Joined: 14 Jul 2003 Posts: 3436

I am getting married soon but I am not sure what the exact date is. I am not a very good example, since I am not a traditional person and we'll have a small, modest wedding.

As far as Russians are concerned - back in Russia itself, the weddings were large, but not expensive. The main celebration was often in the people's house. I don't think that people who have huge expensive weddings are necessarily more Americanized. I think these are more materialistic people that want to show off and want to have a wedding that they will "remember forever", etc. They invite people they hardly know and relatives that are hardly relatives. People from large families, and those coming from smaller cities in the Former Soviet Unions often have larger families and closer ties to their relatives. And, sometimes, they have to invite hundreds of relatives or the word will get out about the wedding and those uninvited relatives will be pissed for many years to come... So, for some people large weddings is not a choice but necessity.

I don't know much about traditions - I have never been to a wedding. Maybe someone else on the forum will shed some light on this issue.

cyndy22 · Posted: Sat May 07, 2005 2:10 am Post subject:

It's funny what you said about large Russian families who need to invite all of their distant relatives. People do get pissed off for years about such family things don't they, no matter what culture! It made me laugh.

I can't believe that you have not been to a wedding! How long have you been in the states? Have you been to weddings in Russia? Personally, I love weddings. I like the ceremony part whaever denomination or even justice of the peace! I also love the party after. I think weddings have the best partys and the best thing is their free, apart from the gift. And usually there is music, dancing, drinking, joking etc., and a very festive atmosphere!

Does your fiancee know when your wedding date is? Razz