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Age Gap...
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Post new topic   Reply to topic    Way to Russia Talk Lounge Forum Index -> Russian People
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JumpinBeanJava
Just Starting


Joined: 18 Sep 2004
Posts: 9
Location: Lynnwood, WA U.S.A.

PostPosted: Sat Sep 18, 2004 12:12 pm    Post subject: Age Gap... Reply with quote

Why, if it is true, do younger Russian women want to enter into a relationship with a much older man from a different country...? Is it desparation to escape what they perceive as a less than "spectacular" life where they live now...? Is it a dream to do whatever is necessary to have a "rich and extravagant" lifestyle...?

Just curious...
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Randy
Lounge Lizard


Joined: 13 Jul 2003
Posts: 115
Location: Texas, USA

PostPosted: Sat Sep 18, 2004 8:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, Just Curious,

There are some Russian women who seek out older western men, then there are some who just seek out western men, and all of the reason's will vary. Sure there are women from every country who look for a way of escape, for riches, and even for love. I believe the reason why we hear so much of this "Russian Women/Western Men" thing is because all of the advertizements in news papers, radio, and the thousands of website promoting it. We are slaves to the media hype. There is a twenty one year age gap between my wife, who is Russian, and I, but she wasn't seeking me out. We met by chance while I was in Russia, and I knew her for ten years before we married. Also, my life is far from rich, and extravagant. I believe if you look for the women who want to escape their country, young or older, or you look for a woman who will do anything to achieve richness, and a extravagance you will find them anywhere. But then you can also find men who will do the same. Most women I have talked to about this say they are looking an older gentleman is first for love and attention, then stability. They say that most older gentlemen are more settled, more ready to raise a family, and also financially secure. That doesn't mean rich, it means enough income to feed, cloth, and provide a good shelter. I have also met some golddiggers who are very honest about what they want. You could just leave out the word 'Russian' and replace it with American, Mexican, French, and so on.....
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AliceFromMoscow
WayToRussified


Joined: 10 Jul 2004
Posts: 411

PostPosted: Sat Sep 18, 2004 9:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

read this... i absolutely agree with every word
http://www.waytorussia.net/TalkLounge/viewtopic.php?t=627
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Atomcat
Lounge Lizard


Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 187

PostPosted: Sun Sep 19, 2004 8:29 am    Post subject: Error Reply with quote



Last edited by Atomcat on Fri Nov 05, 2004 4:47 am; edited 1 time in total
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JumpinBeanJava
Just Starting


Joined: 18 Sep 2004
Posts: 9
Location: Lynnwood, WA U.S.A.

PostPosted: Sun Sep 19, 2004 9:50 am    Post subject: A Raw Nerve... Reply with quote

My goodness... Guess I touched a "raw nerve" in posting my curious questions regarding Russian women... Just for the record, I am NOT an "egocentric" American who has not traveled outside of the U.S. and is "ignorant" about other cultures (I have had the opportunity to travel to many parts of the world and experience different cultures and peoples)... I apologize for the "poor choice" of words in my query, but if a question isn't asked then an answer will not be found... And to those offended by my query, I apologize to you, too...

Everyone, whether they want to admit it or not, has an "agenda" when it comes to being in a relationship with another person - be it friendship, love, or whatever... I like the "agenda" of love and companionship and that's what I strive for in my relationships with women (be they Russian, American, Filipino, Mexican, etc...) Everyone wants to be loved - we all just go about it in different ways and until someone can put it in writing, no one person's method is any better than another persons...

Thank you all for your input - I am a little more educated on the "myth" of Russian women (or any other woman of the world) wanting to "desperately leave their homeland"... (A myth I take with a grain of salt...)

Very Happy
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AliceFromMoscow
WayToRussified


Joined: 10 Jul 2004
Posts: 411

PostPosted: Sun Sep 19, 2004 2:35 pm    Post subject: Re: Error Reply with quote

Atomcat wrote:
Based on Statistics, there are more young males than females in Russia. I forget the category, but I think it was 25 and younger.

Russian Mail order Bride mentality (I think came from the time when woman out number 2 to one after WW2). I think the elderly in this area are more desparate for a husband and less picky. But soon, the women will have the pick of the men.

this is not true.. in Moscow there are more women than men.. especially after 40 years old..
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AliceFromMoscow
WayToRussified


Joined: 10 Jul 2004
Posts: 411

PostPosted: Sun Sep 19, 2004 2:37 pm    Post subject: Re: A Raw Nerve... Reply with quote

JumpinBeanJava wrote:
Just for the record, I am NOT an "egocentric" American who has not traveled outside of the U.S. and is "ignorant" about other cultures

Saying such things as in your first post, you DO look like an ignorant and egocentric american Razz Rolling Eyes
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AliceFromMoscow
WayToRussified


Joined: 10 Jul 2004
Posts: 411

PostPosted: Sun Sep 19, 2004 2:42 pm    Post subject: Re: Error Reply with quote

Atomcat wrote:
Based on Statistics, there are ...

And by the way, do you know such phrase, (sorry might be bad translation):
There are 3 kinds of lie: obvious, hidden.. and statistics. Razz
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AliceFromMoscow
WayToRussified


Joined: 10 Jul 2004
Posts: 411

PostPosted: Sun Sep 19, 2004 3:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

oh.. and my opinion on the subject...
i am a russian girl and i do prefer men who are older than me by 10-20 years. I don't mean western men or russian men, i mean ALL men. You ask why... because most of young men have wind in their heads, they don't know what they want in this life, they don't know what they want from people, they know nothing! Also they do not appreciate relationship and don't give their girl enough attention. Anyway i don't even have any subjects to talk to people of my age, i just don't know about what i can talk to them... and also young people like to show off... they try to look "cool" and actually look like fools to me ...
Men who are 30-40 years old already understand something in this life, they don't show off, they are more quiet, they appreciate girl and know how to treat her right, they are more.. hmm. sophisticated!.. they know many things they are interesting to talk to, and of course sex with older man is wonderful because he knows many things and really can give such a pleasure.... what i cant say about youngsters, who are too awkward in bed yet. Of course there are exceptions but they are rare.
And the last.. why girls look for foreign men.. because it is really hard to find a nice guy here who isnt already taken. All good guys already have gfs, or are too spoiled with women attention and they don't appreciate girls because of that, because they have too many of them.
I guess it is our girls fault, in most cases, however funny it could sound, in most cases girls have to run after guys to win their attention, not guys. Embarassed
So if i'd look for a foreign man to be my bf, i'd look for a man, as i already said, 10-20 years older than me. Just because its my preference. Not because i hunt for something.
P.S. Another good thing being 10-20 years younger than your husband or bf is that you always will be young for him! And this is wonderful... Because there are too many examples in Russia when a man after years of marriage when both spouses become older ,leaves his wife(often with kids) for some young girl.
Oh and by the way, let me tell you a secret: in Russia woman 30 years old is called OLD woman. OLD!!! If a woman didnt get married by 30 they call her old maid or spinster.
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Randy
Lounge Lizard


Joined: 13 Jul 2003
Posts: 115
Location: Texas, USA

PostPosted: Sun Sep 19, 2004 6:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Alice,
Your post just confirms what I have learned in the past from talking to other Russian ladies. By the way, in the link you posted above for the writings of Winston Wu, who visited Russia for 6 months going to 9 cities, and meeting hundreds of people, he has offended many people by his post, including my wife. Mr. Wu has posted his views on other websites concerning his travels to Russia, and has been critizied by many women who have read his journals. Some of what he say's is correct, but he has been very demeaning to many women, not only Russian ladies, but also to American ladies.
I am sure Mr. Wu means well, and is trying to help others who intend to visit Russia. In my opinion, anyone who only spends six months in Russia, visiting 9 cities, and meeting hundreds of people can't speak as an expert on Russia, or Russian women. I know many foreign people who have lived there for years, including me, some are still living there, who could not and would not claim to know the Russian people, and their culture so well. How could anyone who visited so many cities, and met so many people have any time to make any meaningful relationships? After reading his adventure, of how he paid for sex and friendship, the research he did on the age limit of consentual sex with young girls in Russia and other countries, etc. I just can't make myself believe he is any kind of athourity on what he writes about. I can only assume what this man knows is what he has read about, not personal experience, or observations.
JumpinBean, you haven't offened me. Your questions are what a lot of people are wanting to know........
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bernhard_riemann
Frequent Guest


Joined: 15 Sep 2004
Posts: 41

PostPosted: Sun Sep 19, 2004 6:20 pm    Post subject: windy? Reply with quote

Young men are not windy in the head. That is very wrong to say. One object ive left out your entire opinion was money. Many young men would like to get married but are not in as financially secure state as aged men. Many American men travel to Russian to find a bride because they CAN. Younger men CANNOT. That is one reason for "statistic" lies. You young women must have windy heads to stereotype young men that way and believe older man to be better (more mature). That must also be a statistic.
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JumpinBeanJava
Just Starting


Joined: 18 Sep 2004
Posts: 9
Location: Lynnwood, WA U.S.A.

PostPosted: Mon Sep 20, 2004 2:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Alice"... my statement about not being an "ignorant" or "egocentric" American was for the benefit of those who write lenghty dissertations on a subject (the myth about Russian women in this case) and use generalities about a whole culture of people... Without the benefit of a "face to face" conversation with persons from another culture in this forum, sometimes it is difficult to word questions, or responses to questions in a manner that will be accepted by those reading the post... As I mentioned in my last posting, I apologize to those I offended... As I have noticed from other postings there are those who are willing to explain and not jump to conclusions as to the what is being asked... I'm just as gulity as the next person when it comes to generalizing about others different from me, but because I am aware of that I do my best not to insult others through the questions I ask or respond to...

I do not know what your experiences have been with American men and it is none of my business, but if you want me (and other men - American, etc) to understand your culture, then tact is something you might want to seek out and use...

Thank you for your input... Wink
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Atomcat
Lounge Lizard


Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 187

PostPosted: Mon Sep 20, 2004 3:03 am    Post subject: Funny Reply with quote



Last edited by Atomcat on Fri Nov 05, 2004 4:47 am; edited 1 time in total
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JumpinBeanJava
Just Starting


Joined: 18 Sep 2004
Posts: 9
Location: Lynnwood, WA U.S.A.

PostPosted: Mon Sep 20, 2004 3:29 am    Post subject: "...windy headed..." Reply with quote

Ah... another expression for "air head"...!

"Bernhard", re-read "AliceInMoscow"s post again and I think you will see you don't fit into that category - it's just one person's opinion from their experience... If you do want to place yourself in that category, then you need only to look inside yourself and see if you truly are "...windy headed..." (I bet you will find you aren't... Maybe a bit shy, but not "...windy headed...")

Good luck to you in the "dating and relationship game"... Just be yourself and you'll do fine (no matter where she's from)...! Cool

JBJ
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AliceFromMoscow
WayToRussified


Joined: 10 Jul 2004
Posts: 411

PostPosted: Mon Sep 20, 2004 10:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Randy, i don't know that winston wu, and i gave link to one his article because i found it true... i don't see anything offending in it.... Oh, maybe he is too abrupt speaking of americans and calling them egocentric and so on, yes this might be offending, sorry )
And i don't care about the fact that he travels to Russia to collect sex adventures, because its his and those girls private business... those girls have their own heads and if they let take advantage of them, then its their problems... .
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