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Bad experience hosting Russians in the West?? Goto page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next

Way to Russia Talk Lounge Forum Index -> Russian People

Author	Message
Ekaterina Talk Show Host Joined: 28 Sep 2005 Posts: 265 Location: Moscow	Posted: Wed Apr 26, 2006 11:37 pm    Post subject: JamesB wrote: Ekaterina, Where did you ever meet these guests in the first place? I met those people on the Internet. I host people if they ask it, I provide them with food if they want it and if they need something else and I can help I usually do it. JamesB wrote: Was the Canadian paying to stay at your place? No, James. Can you imagine some people help each other for free. JamesB wrote: Have you ever lived in North America before? I just visited it recently but don't have time now to write here my impressions.
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charles Lounge Lizard Joined: 11 Mar 2006 Posts: 180 Location: USA	Posted: Thu Apr 27, 2006 12:19 am    Post subject: Fire_Goddess wrote: charles wrote: All these stories just make me ashamed of myself for the times when I was a guest in other countries, and I didn't thank my hosts enough... Their guests sounded like free loaders to me. Well, I stayed in Europe with two friends & their families (one week with each friend). After that, I never heard from them again! So I always wondered what terrible impression I made... Ekaterina wrote: I met those people on the Internet. I host people if they ask it, I provide them with food if they want it and if they need something else and I can help I usually do it. I'd like a large, quiet room to myself for two weeks, maybe more. Three hot meals per day. A car to use when I want... Is that OK? Seriously, you are very generous and I'm sure you had some very nice guests, too? But an open front door is going to attract free-loaders, and that's life. Obviously some bad experiences haven't made you give up being a host.
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kenga Frequent Guest Joined: 26 Apr 2006 Posts: 26	Posted: Thu Apr 27, 2006 2:35 am    Post subject: Re: Hosting Russians in the West JamesB wrote: My experience actually dates back to 1990. So, has anyone had similar experience? Well, as some people have said already, you had a really bad luck. Got yourself between a bad guy and a girl he has hots for and expect to be treated nicely? So why are you asking these questions here now? Are you thinking about a trial run number 2 with somebody else? Hope you get better luck this time! Looking back at my own experience being a guest in other people houses I think I also could have appeared rude once or twice, through the lack of language skills, (I could not express my requests and/or gratitudes well enough); through not understanding some simple rules which seem perfectly normal to me now, years later, but were something completely new then. (No, I don't smoke , but my mother would often say to her guests to start eating dinner without her, because she needed to do just that last bit at the kitchen. While in a polite western society to start eating before everybody is seated would be rude). As Charles, I sometimes feel ashamed of myself those years ago but what can I do? I'll just try to be good to people I meet now.
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yorbcbud Lounge Wizard Joined: 17 Feb 2006 Posts: 4903 Location: Сорренто, Британская Колумбия, Канада	Posted: Thu Apr 27, 2006 5:50 am    Post subject: Re: Bad experience hosting Russians in the West?? Ekaterina wrote: JamesB wrote: Did you get the feeling they were taking your hospitality for granted? I had an experience of hosting an American and a Canadian in Russia and they were the only guests who were taking our hospitality for granted. So try to host some Americans or Canadians first. After that Russians will seem very nice people for you. It is unfortunate that you had to put up with two people that were that rude. But I don't have to tell you that all are not that way. If you hosted me, I would carry your bags, and I would take you and your family to dinner, to say thanks for having me. But hey, thats just me, I can't speak for anyone else in my country. I don't think that you make a fair statement about Americans, or Canadians. I have been to America many times, and nobody has ever been rude to me in America. I meet ruder people in my own country. Most Russians seem very nice to me regardless.
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JamesB Frequent Guest Joined: 25 Apr 2006 Posts: 20	Posted: Thu Apr 27, 2006 4:05 pm    Post subject: Hospitality Ekaterina wrote: JamesB wrote: Ekaterina, Where did you ever meet these guests in the first place? I met those people on the Internet. I host people if they ask it, I provide them with food if they want it and if they need something else and I can help I usually do it. JamesB wrote: Was the Canadian paying to stay at your place? No, James. Can you imagine some people help each other for free. JamesB wrote: Have you ever lived in North America before? I just visited it recently but don't have time now to write here my impressions. Ekaterina, Sounds like both of us have had some bad luck. Free-loaders are in every crowd. I'm impressed with your open door policy...taking in people you've met through the internet. In my case, I thought I already knew the people well. But, life has surprises, doesn't it? Fortunately, in spite of this one bad experience, I have also had many good ones taking in guests. Ekaterina, I hope someday you and your family will be some of them.
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JamesB Frequent Guest Joined: 25 Apr 2006 Posts: 20	Posted: Thu Apr 27, 2006 4:08 pm    Post subject: Re: Hosting Russians in the West kenga wrote: JamesB wrote: My experience actually dates back to 1990. So, has anyone had similar experience? Well, as some people have said already, you had a really bad luck. Got yourself between a bad guy and a girl he has hots for and expect to be treated nicely? So why are you asking these questions here now? Are you thinking about a trial run number 2 with somebody else? Hope you get better luck this time! Kenga, The internet offers an excellent forum for exchanging experiences and ideas. I just recently discovered this forum, and see that this topic has not been discussed. Also, I think others can learn from my experiences as I, in turn, can learn from theirs.
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natasha1982 Frequent Guest Joined: 28 Apr 2006 Posts: 46 Location: USA	Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 4:59 am    Post subject: someone has to chill Ekaterina, v chem tvoiya problema? Wow, I love it how Ekaterina just generalized every single American in the world. Let me then say: all Russians are drunkards, they are lazy, they are rude, and they hate Americans. Coming from a person from RUSSIA. Feels better?
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kenga Frequent Guest Joined: 26 Apr 2006 Posts: 26	Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 5:58 am    Post subject: Re: Hosting Russians in the West [quote="JamesB"][quote="kenga"] JamesB wrote: Kenga, The internet offers an excellent forum for exchanging experiences and ideas. I just recently discovered this forum, and see that this topic has not been discussed. Also, I think others can learn from my experiences as I, in turn, can learn from theirs. I agree about the possibilities the internet provides. So, based on your experience, what advise could you give to potential Russian guests and/or American hosts? Apart from refraining from smoking anywhere in the house , which for some Russians might present a problem, I agree. Mind you, some problems do arise from lack of language skill and neither hosts nor guests can do much about it. Or can they?
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JamesB Frequent Guest Joined: 25 Apr 2006 Posts: 20	Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 8:53 pm    Post subject: Re: Hosting Russians in the West kenga wrote: I agree about the possibilities the internet provides. So, based on your experience, what advise could you give to potential Russian guests and/or American hosts? Apart from refraining from smoking anywhere in the house , which for some Russians might present a problem, I agree. Mind you, some problems do arise from lack of language skill and neither hosts nor guests can do much about it. Or can they? Kenga, So much depends upon the heart and attitude of the guest. Another Russian I hosted a few months later told me that when he first got to the States, he had had a long discussion with others about American customs, expectations, etc. He adjusted his behavior accordingly. He put forth the effort. He also played by the rules (i.e. had respect for the different culture). The Russians I had hosted basically wanted to have Russia in the USA and seemed to expect everyone to cater to them. I might have mentioned that this former, Russian girlfriend refused to try to learn English even though I knew it would do her a lot of good. You reap what you sow. Now I'm impressed by the Russians I meet here in the USA who can communicate well in English.
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MrSpice Lounge Wizard Joined: 14 Jul 2003 Posts: 3431	Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 10:47 pm    Post subject: Re: someone has to chill natasha1982 wrote: Ekaterina, v chem tvoiya problema? Wow, I love it how Ekaterina just generalized every single American in the world. Let me then say: all Russians are drunkards, they are lazy, they are rude, and they hate Americans. Coming from a person from RUSSIA. Feels better? You're absolutely right. What a silly generalization on her part. I cannot imagine why would anyone allow virtually anyone into their home. But if you do that, you should not be surpirsed to get some unpleasant and dishonest people. If we talk abotu honesty and general civility, the USA overall is infinitely better in that sense than Russia. Try to leave anything on the street or in the park in Russia, with 99% I can say - it will be stolen. I would certainly be much more comfortable (and certainly feel safer) hosting Americans than Russians. Americans are much more law-abiding - on average. Whereas in Russia, breaking the law and cheating others seems to be the norm.
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natasha1982 Frequent Guest Joined: 28 Apr 2006 Posts: 46 Location: USA	Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 10:58 pm    Post subject: trip to Russia I just came from Russia two weeks ago after 10 years of not seeing the country (I'm from Moscow) and my friends there (I moved to the US at 15). I gotta say, we had tons of fun and my hubby got to see all the places I used to go to and hang out at. St Pete was the first destination, and I was amazed how huge the economical differences between people were. On Nevskiy prospect, people were wearing Gucci, Prada, Chanel, etc. There were so many Mercedezes and Audis, etc. However, when you go to petergof or pavlov, the picture changes COMPLETELY. There were old ladies begging for food and money, young people pointlessly standing around or drinking in the park. People in the Metro and stores were really angry and confrontational. In Moscow, it was a very similar picture, however I do believe that Moscovites are much nicer than Petersburg people (probably because the life standards are higher). The downtown has changed dramatically, to the point of non-recognition. Although things looked exactly the same at my Grandpa's house and the area I used to live in (in the North of Moscow). Bottles and papers everywhere, seems like no one ever cleaned the streets. People were not able to afford anything at the stores, thus going to those street markets. Well, pretty much it was good 'ole Russia the way I remembered it. The food was cheaper than in US, but the clothes were 2 to 5 times more expensive. I saw my apartment (all one room that we had, lol).After 5 days, I was completely homesick and was thanking God that I moved from there.
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MrSpice Lounge Wizard Joined: 14 Jul 2003 Posts: 3431	Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 11:02 pm    Post subject: Re: trip to Russia natasha1982 wrote: I just came from Russia two weeks ago after 10 years of not seeing the country (I'm from Moscow) and my friends there (I moved to the US at 15). I gotta say, we had tons of fun and my hubby got to see all the places I used to go to and hang out at. St Pete was the first destination, and I was amazed how huge the economical differences between people were. On Nevskiy prospect, people were wearing Gucci, Prada, Chanel, etc. There were so many Mercedezes and Audis, etc. However, when you go to petergof or pavlov, the picture changes COMPLETELY. There were old ladies begging for food and money, young people pointlessly standing around or drinking in the park. People in the Metro and stores were really angry and confrontational. In Moscow, it was a very similar picture, however I do believe that Moscovites are much nicer than Petersburg people (probably because the life standards are higher). The downtown has changed dramatically, to the point of non-recognition. Although things looked exactly the same at my Grandpa's house and the area I used to live in (in the North of Moscow). Bottles and papers everywhere, seems like no one ever cleaned the streets. People were not able to afford anything at the stores, thus going to those street markets. Well, pretty much it was good 'ole Russia the way I remembered it. The food was cheaper than in US, but the clothes were 2 to 5 times more expensive. I saw my apartment (all one room that we had, lol).After 5 days, I was completely homesick and was thanking God that I moved from there. Great story. I only visited St Petersburg last year and did not have a chance to visit Moscow. People in Russia rave about Moscow and talk about this new wealth. So you're saying that areas outside of Moscow center did not change much (except for some new businesses)? Do they still look poor just like areas outside of the center in ST Petersburg?
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surfguy Lounge Wizard Joined: 13 Apr 2006 Posts: 6979	Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 11:09 pm    Post subject: Some bad experiences and I'm sure age did in fact have a lot to do with it. Bottom line is that every where in the world there are good and bad, and rude, and considerate people. I think that a lot of foriegners think that we americans are wealthy and have all this money to spend. Never mind that we save all year to go and travel...or throw it all on a credit card and then spend the next few years paying it off. I can say this: when I or friends have visitors-we do what we can to accomodate them. When my GF came to here for the first time last Feb I was wondering what she would think. I don't have any money but am used to living a good and care free life, I have a expensive condo but it is nice and yes I do struggle to maintain it. I live far beyond my means. She was wowed as obviously our standards are so much higher. We went to my Dad's house which is a multi million dollar estate, but she had met my father before and knows his status so she knew what to expect. But when she was up there I know she was in shock. She was great though and a true sweet heart to my family and she really went out of her way to please them. In fact my Dad was thinking perhaps she is too good for me. Anyways then we went shopping for clothes and she saw how cheap things were here and the vast quantities and selection-unbelievable for her. She told me everything was shocking for her. And I paid for everything-I made it a point for her to use her money just on shopping. What better experience for a woman. Her comment was that we take every thing for granted and she's right we do...but we created this society and have been blessed by it. And why would we know any different? That is not bad. She comes from a good family with a lot of famous people in it and they all help each other. She is educated, has a new car, just bought an apartment and so life is going pretty well for her. So she had a good experience and she was treated very well here in the U.S. All my friends were really good to her also. Then I went to St. Pete in April and I found her friends to be nice...but I had to pay to rent an apartment from a co worker of her's which was no big deal and I was happy too. I paid for everything pretty much as I wouldn't have it any other way. I brought gifts and myself. Had absolutely the best time. I did find though that most of the Russian males were always trying to argue with me about things. I remember going to a bar with 6 girls and guys giving me shit...until they got to know me and then it was best of times. Drinks were downed and laughs were shared. So I had a good experience and I think I changed a lot of opinions about Americans. And my opinion of Russians definitely changed.
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surfguy Lounge Wizard Joined: 13 Apr 2006 Posts: 6979	Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2006 11:35 pm    Post subject: Yes one thing I did noticed is that in St Pete those who have money are so out to flaunt it and are so concerned with brands. I find it humorous. Yes there was trash everywhere outside of city center, I didn't find people too friendly or interested really. I was amazed at the apartments. Although the one I rented was nice on the inside...by no means was it on par with what we have here. I did see some new construction going on which was nicer, but It's rediculous how people live there. I think once they get an idea of suburbia things will get better and attitudes will change and people will become better. Ekaterina-you sound like a very nice person and I would have no problem hosting some one like you.
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vitalsigns Lounge Wizard Joined: 25 Dec 2004 Posts: 2784	Posted: Thu Aug 17, 2006 12:34 am    Post subject: Ekaterina is a communist who likes to ride on yaks and hug monkeys but she hates Americans. She is an enigma I am trying to figure out but I can't. I hope her husband and her dog are accepting of her.
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