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ariba1615
Just Starting
Joined: 04 May 2006
Posts: 8
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 Posted: Thu May 04, 2006 12:31 am Post subject: friendship in Russia |
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| I am an American. My Russian girlfriend has several Russian men as friends. I don't understand the culture of friendship in Russia. Is friendship valued a lot in Russia than in other countries ?. I heard Russian men flirt a lot with women and premarital sex is common. Is this true ?. I appreciate if some one can tell more about friendships in Russia between men and women. |
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bryak
WayToRussified
Joined: 28 Oct 2005
Posts: 321
Location: Edmonton, Canada
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| Posted: Thu May 04, 2006 2:00 am Post subject: Re: friendship in Russia |
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| ariba1615 wrote: | | I heard Russian men flirt a lot with women and premarital sex is common. Is this true ? |
Gasp! could it be?!?! Shocking!!! 
I don't get it when people find it shocking that women and men can be friends and just that. I'm sure friendships between Russian men and women are more or less similar to friendships between men and women the world over. Don't worry about it, don't be one of those jealous boyfriends -- if your relationship is healthy you should have nothing to worry about, should you? If that is indeed your worry. |
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kenga
Frequent Guest
Joined: 26 Apr 2006
Posts: 26
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| Posted: Thu May 04, 2006 2:21 am Post subject: Re: friendship in Russia |
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| ariba1615 wrote: | | I heard Russian men flirt a lot with women and premarital sex is common. |
Flirting in Russia is still permitted and is not considered a harassment if both parties are happy about it.
I had a great time flirting with my best friend's husband because he was responsive and funny while we both knew that it won't go any further than words since he loved and still loves his wife. IMHO, the best flirting among friends never ends up in sex, it's just mind games. Flirting with a husband/boyfriend - that's another matter.
On the other hand, in Russia nowadays things might have changed. |
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edward69
Just Starting
Joined: 04 May 2006
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Thu May 04, 2006 2:34 am Post subject: flirting with another guy.... |
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Well, where I come from ( latin america ) if a girl flirts with someone else while having a boyfriend, even if it`s just a game, it is considered a bad sign that may lead to rupture of a relationship. I was told by russian women that it is acceptable if my gf`s best friend sleeps with me. Is this true?
answer fast, I gotta get my phone book!!!  |
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kenga
Frequent Guest
Joined: 26 Apr 2006
Posts: 26
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| Posted: Thu May 04, 2006 2:48 am Post subject: Re: flirting with another guy.... |
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| edward69 wrote: | | I was told by russian women that it is acceptable if my gf`s best friend sleeps with me. Is this true? |
Not in my circle of friends.
Don't fall into it, it might be a trap! |
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ariba1615
Just Starting
Joined: 04 May 2006
Posts: 8
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| Posted: Thu May 04, 2006 3:43 am Post subject: Re: flirting with another guy.... |
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Friendship between a man and a woman who are single is not easy. It's much more easier to have a platonic relationship if your friend is already in a relationship.
The males are lot less in number than females in Russia. So, I wonder - where is the need for a Russian man to be committed to one woman ?. Since he has plenty of choice and women are falling all over him. He will be moving from one woman to another. Any statistics on infidelity of Russian men ?. It has to be very high. There must be lot of pressure on Russian women to look at their best because they have to compete with other women to get a man. Am I too off in my assumptions ?. I feel jealous of Russian men  I am also shocked to hear from my Russian girlfriend that many women in Russia are open to dating married men !!! |
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kenga
Frequent Guest
Joined: 26 Apr 2006
Posts: 26
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| Posted: Thu May 04, 2006 4:07 am Post subject: Re: flirting with another guy.... |
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| ariba1615 wrote: | | Friendship between a man and a woman who are single is not easy. It's much more easier to have a platonic relationship if your friend is already in a relationship. |
Agree! I always feel better while flirting if I am married.
| ariba1615 wrote: | | The males are lot less in number than females in Russia. So, I wonder - where is the need for a Russian man to be committed to one woman ? |
Maybe it depends on the kind of a woman? Then again, not only in Russia married men stray. The problem of commitment (or lack of it) is universal. |
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mediashark
Moderator
Joined: 04 Nov 2004
Posts: 1599
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| Posted: Thu May 04, 2006 7:00 pm Post subject: |
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| ariba, I'm afraid you're right in many of your assumptions, though they don't necessarily apply to everyone. Infedility is still a poison to any long-term relationship, regardless of how acceptable it may seem. I think the problem is universal, but I find that Russians tend to be more open (and even more accepting) about it. |
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MrSpice
Lounge Wizard
Joined: 14 Jul 2003
Posts: 3431
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| Posted: Thu May 04, 2006 8:01 pm Post subject: Re: friendship in Russia |
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| ariba1615 wrote: | | I am an American. My Russian girlfriend has several Russian men as friends. I don't understand the culture of friendship in Russia. Is friendship valued a lot in Russia than in other countries ?. I heard Russian men flirt a lot with women and premarital sex is common. Is this true ?. I appreciate if some one can tell more about friendships in Russia between men and women. |
I was born in Russia and can tell you that if she is really your girlfriend, you should ask her and encourage her to concentrate on her female friends. Whether in Russia or in the US, no man would like the situation when his girl hangs out (especially without you) with other men. It makes no difference that she is russian, trust me. Culture differences are overrated. Some people feel that in America it's common to sleep around (look at all the movies/sitcoms that are popular here). Don't accept that as if this is some kind of "russian" thing. She can hang out with her russian friends only with you by her side. That's a simple rule for any couple anywhere. |
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mediashark
Moderator
Joined: 04 Nov 2004
Posts: 1599
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| Posted: Thu May 04, 2006 8:36 pm Post subject: |
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I agree with you MrSpice, but I do have many male friends and it is not like that with me. (Probably more than female friends!) I don't sleep around even though I have many male friends. If my friend wants to hang out, I ask if my husband can come along, if he says no then he is not my friend anymore. Likewise I always ask if my husband will come along to meet my friends, but he usually refuses as he is a bit shy. He is fine with me inviting people over though.
So my advice to ariba: doesn't matter what gender her friends are. If she is trying to keep any friendship with another guy from you, something isn't quite right. You are a couple, you should share friendships.
I think I needn't tell you what to do if she brags to you about flirting with her 'friends'.  |
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