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BlackCat
Just Starting
Joined: 17 Mar 2007
Posts: 6
Location: Miami
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 Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2007 9:09 am Post subject: Need advice about Russian man... |
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Hello everyone!
I met this Russian guy online, through a website that had nothing to do with dating. We saw eachother's pics and we find eachother attractive. He knows that I plan to go to Russia next year (even before I met him). Here's the thing, he hasn't said straight out if he wants to see if something could develope between us, but I think he's flirting with me. As he said that he will show me many things in Russia and we will go places together...etc. He also said that it's sad that he couldn't give me flowers on woman's day, but one day...
I asked him if he has a girlfriend and he said "I haven't girl that I love..." Then, he asked me if I had a boyfriend. I then told him straight out that I find him attractive and want to get to know him more and he replied that he finds me attractive too and I'm a very beautiful girl and I have interesting conversation. It bothered me that I felt like I was initiating this. So, I figuered he didn't like me like that, so I stopped replying to his messages, but he kept bugging me. I called him the other day for the first time and he told me on the phone "Dear (my name), I'm really surprised to have such a beautiful girl like you call me, it's really a great pleasure for me to talk to you...thank you." Then he said that he wants to take English lessons (he knows some english)because he hopes to meet me in reality and wants to talk to me. He then told me that I could call him again and that he loves to hear my voice. He also wanted my cell phone # so we could send Sms to eachother. We've only been messaging eachother for 2 weeks and I wonder if he's flirting and interested with me? And if so, what should I do? I don't want to come on to him too strong. I do like him and I don't want to blow it. My natural reaction is to pull away because he hasn't said anything to me straight out. I'm sorry if this is long...I just need good advice. |
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nikir
Frequent Guest
Joined: 17 Mar 2010
Posts: 54
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| Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2007 10:23 am Post subject: |
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What's the problem, if you are going there anyway.
Just meet up, take his offer to show you around a bit and see what develops from there. |
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mediashark
Moderator
Joined: 04 Nov 2004
Posts: 1599
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| Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2007 7:46 pm Post subject: |
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Well speaking from experience, the only thing in common all Russian man have is probably their passport, language, and maybe the odd Russian habit.
It's really hard to give relationship advice from a cultural/national point of view. |
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BlackCat
Just Starting
Joined: 17 Mar 2007
Posts: 6
Location: Miami
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| Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2007 9:26 pm Post subject: |
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| Thank you for the response, but I was just wondering if it sounds like he's interested in maybe being more than friends with me. |
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jo-jo-7
Just Starting
Joined: 16 Mar 2010
Posts: 6
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| Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2007 9:33 pm Post subject: |
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| BlackCat wrote: | | Thank you for the response, but I was just wondering if it sounds like he's interested in maybe being more than friends with me. |
When a man says he loves to hear your voice, he has an interest and he is flirting with you. See what happens. It sounds like a beginning of something. Keep it open and don't push too much, let him take the initiative since he is interested but, if he waits to long just give a little hint to let him know you are interested.
Hope this helps you some...  |
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surfguy
Lounge Wizard
Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 6979
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| Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2007 10:54 pm Post subject: |
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| it's time to pull away and let him reach for you...if he does then there is your answer. Make him chase and he'll rspect you for it |
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mediashark
Moderator
Joined: 04 Nov 2004
Posts: 1599
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| Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 1:25 am Post subject: |
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| ditto! |
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BlackCat
Just Starting
Joined: 17 Mar 2007
Posts: 6
Location: Miami
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| Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 5:26 am Post subject: |
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| Thanks guys! I agree with the pulling away theory. If I pull away and he comes back, then what should I do? I don't want him to think that I'm completely uninterested...what do you suggest? |
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nikir
Frequent Guest
Joined: 17 Mar 2010
Posts: 54
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| Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 6:06 am Post subject: |
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Black cat you have to realise that in Russia, eligible guys are a reasonably scarce resource and quite in demand by Russian girls.
Also he may not understand your American cat and mouse game, or decide that it's all to much effort.
If you have a comfortable situation now just maintain it, get to know each other better, by net and phone. When you get to Russia you can see just what your cultural differences are, and whether or not your relationship has a chance of developing into something more. If all goes well then other issues will arise. |
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jo-jo-7
Just Starting
Joined: 16 Mar 2010
Posts: 6
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| Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 8:19 am Post subject: |
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| BlackCat wrote: | | Thanks guys! I agree with the pulling away theory. If I pull away and he comes back, then what should I do? I don't want him to think that I'm completely uninterested...what do you suggest? |
I hinted to you in my post. Let him take the initiative and if he doesn't make a move "hint" to him that you are interested. Men should make the moves but, sometimes a woman has to hint a little to get the fire going. Just flirt back when he flirts with you, that's really all you need. |
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surfguy
Lounge Wizard
Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 6979
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| Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 1:46 am Post subject: |
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| nikir wrote: | Black cat you have to realise that in Russia, eligible guys are a reasonably scarce resource and quite in demand by Russian girls.
Also he may not understand your American cat and mouse game, or decide that it's all to much effort.
If you have a comfortable situation now just maintain it, get to know each other better, by net and phone. When you get to Russia you can see just what your cultural differences are, and whether or not your relationship has a chance of developing into something more. If all goes well then other issues will arise. |
which is why you want him to chase you...perhaps he has all sorts of offers and that being the case the fact that he reaches for you means that he values you more...and this is what you should want and only accept. You have an advantage over the russian girls...you are not russian. Trust me all men respect women whom they have to work for and who do not throw themselves on them. |
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yorbcbud
Lounge Wizard
Joined: 17 Feb 2006
Posts: 4903
Location: Сорренто, Британская Колумбия, Канада
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| Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 5:31 am Post subject: |
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| BlackCat wrote: | | Thanks guys! I agree with the pulling away theory. If I pull away and he comes back, then what should I do? I don't want him to think that I'm completely uninterested...what do you suggest? |
I know it may seem a bit radical, but why don't you just try telling him exactly whats on your mind, then there'll be no games, and you'll each know exactly where you stand? Just a thought. It always works well for me, anyway. |
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mediashark
Moderator
Joined: 04 Nov 2004
Posts: 1599
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| Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 7:49 am Post subject: |
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| nikir wrote: | Black cat you have to realise that in Russia, eligible guys are a reasonably scarce resource and quite in demand by Russian girls.
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Eligible guys are scarce, period. Everywhere.
Now, define eligible.... |
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BlackCat
Just Starting
Joined: 17 Mar 2007
Posts: 6
Location: Miami
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| Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 8:00 am Post subject: |
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| Thanks again everyone! Honestly, I'm thinking about just kicking this guy to the curb...lol. He's strange...he tells me I'm beautiful, he says he finds me attractive and interesting and he's always waiting for my messages, but I'm the one always asking him questions about himself and he only asks me questions after I ask him (except when he initiated contact with me in the very beginning!)...for example: When I asked him "Do you have a girlfriend?" He answered and then in his message said to me "You asked me about girlfriend...what about you? You have boyfriend?" He NEVER takes the initiative to ask me anything. Also, he hasn't told me much about himself in general (besides the questions I ask him). He might slip in a "new" thing or two, he definitely knows a lot more about me then I know of him. I don't care where this guy's from, he's just not worth my effort, if he can't try to be more open with me, then he's not all that interested as far as I'm concerned. |
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vitalsigns
Lounge Wizard
Joined: 25 Dec 2004
Posts: 2784
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| Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 8:12 am Post subject: |
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I think this is his personality (not asking questions and so forth) and if you guys happen to fall in love in real life (when you meet) you will have to accept him for who he is.
Or... as he gains more and more confidence in speaking English, he may open up a bit more. |
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