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V8orBetter
Frequent Guest
Joined: 12 Sep 2007
Posts: 32
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 Posted: Thu Oct 04, 2007 1:23 am Post subject: |
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| saint_chrisburg wrote: | Well, I was with my ex-wife for five years, so I guess I was just as duped as every other guy who's been divorced - which is approximatley 50% of all men who have ever been married.
Also, I don't see what was angry about my post. My points were:
1) She's not held up anywhere because of visa issues;
2) Realistically she probably won't be able to come back next summer, (but then again she could - you could always visit her in Russia);
3) She'll be hard to track down, especially given the area she's from;
4) Russian girls aren't any different than American girls except in reputation alone (and how they dress/do their make-up);
5) It's hard sometimes to contact people, so perhaps she'll be able to get ahold of you soon;
and ultimately 6) better to move on rather than holding onto something that may not ever materialize. I'd give it maybe another month more? By then she should have definitely been able to contact you, no doubt.
I'm kind of surprised you've never heard the expression "goody-goody-gumdrops" - basically that somebody is so super nice and sweet and all the good things with none of the bad (how many people think Russian girls are).
If anything it sounds like you are becoming defensive because you're afraid that you may have just been a fling and nothing more. I didn't say you were duped, so I don't see why you felt the need to say I was. There is, after all, a huge difference in my book between a fling and purposefully duping somebody. This seems to have been a fling as she didn't gain anything material from being with you. |
I get what you're saying, but what stoops me is why would she yes to a relationship with me if she knew it wouldn't materialize?
I know I promised her that i'll wait for her and I made it clear that I wouldn't have any distractions and I couldn't imagine myself breaking her heart.
Also before she left she said she would write me and she wanted me to call her. I told her to email me her contact information and she said she would email it to me, however she never said when. She never lied to me when she was down here, I don't see why she would start now.
Worse case scenario is what if something bad happened while she was in NYC. what if she was injured/kidnapped/etc. I hate thinking like this, but now days you just never know until you actually hear from the person.
For example on the news the other day, this guy didn't see his wife for 8 days. no calls, no emails, no faxxes, no nothing, it was like she just vanished off the face of the earth without ever saying bye to him. 8 days later, they found his wife's car at the bottom of a revine crumbled, but luckily she was still alive. It's situations like that which worries me.
I'm sorry if I'm being annoying, I'm just a very analytical person and I'm always analyzing & applying reasoning to different situations to conclude a rational result. |
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saint_chrisburg
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Joined: 03 Oct 2007
Posts: 46
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| Posted: Thu Oct 04, 2007 2:09 am Post subject: |
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Well when you're living in the moment, sometimes you say things that you think you'll live up to, but ultimately don't. It might be she honestly felt that way about you and she herself believed what she was saying, but once she got back to Russia life was different and things changed for her. I mean, haven't most people done something like this: say one thing with the full intent of fulfilling it, only to have circumstances change, making it unrealistic to fulfill after all?
From personal experience, I know I have. I once had this girlfriend, and when I was with her I felt all these feelings and I told her I loved her, and so on. But when I moved away, I found that I had thought and felt that way about her back at the time, in the moment, but I really understood with the distance that I didn't love her, and it wouldn't work out with the new circumstances in my life. And so for a few months we kept it up, she'd call every night, which just made things worse. In the end, the relationship ended with her being very bitter and heart-broken, and me feeling a bit indifferent, as I already knew how it would end, but didn't have the balls to end earlier.
It's possible that your girl has had the same thing happen to her...
I guess my advice would be to try and stop worrying so much, and let things happen how they happen. She may get in touch with you yet. |
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surfguy
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Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 6979
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| Posted: Thu Oct 04, 2007 6:30 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | I guess my advice would be to try and stop worrying so much, and let things happen how they happen. She may get in touch with you yet |
this is good advice...we've all been in your shoes...relax and enjoy your life...there are plenty more of her out there. |
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gomer
WayToRussified
Joined: 30 Mar 2007
Posts: 445
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| Posted: Thu Oct 04, 2007 8:50 pm Post subject: |
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| surfguy wrote: | | ...there are plenty more of her out there. |
I don't know about Russian women but U.S. women have a saying, "Men are like buses. If you don't catch the first one, there'll be another one along soon". |
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surfguy
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Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 6979
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| Posted: Fri Oct 05, 2007 7:34 am Post subject: |
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| gomer wrote: | | surfguy wrote: | | ...there are plenty more of her out there. |
I don't know about Russian women but U.S. women have a saying, "Men are like buses. If you don't catch the first one, there'll be another one along soon". |
There is an abundance of russian women...all one has to do is go to russia...just better have your shit together though...all women want and need the same thing |
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saint_chrisburg
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Joined: 03 Oct 2007
Posts: 46
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| Posted: Sat Oct 06, 2007 6:33 pm Post subject: |
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| surfguy wrote: |
There is an abundance of russian women...all one has to do is go to russia...just better have your shit together though...all women want and need the same thing |
Hey stated it's not Russian women he's after, just one Russian woman in particular. |
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Pete8400-wtr
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Joined: 24 Mar 2007
Posts: 39
Location: Pionerskaya, Saint-Petersburg
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| Posted: Tue Oct 16, 2007 3:15 am Post subject: Yeah |
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Dude, get over it!
Face it, we've all been there...men and women!
Hell, I even had the marriage papers filled in at the embassy in SpB.
We hit it off bigtime, beatiful as a model, brains, everything....
Went there, first spent a month with her, was introduced to her parents and all her friends in different cities in Russia,(and accepted as being the best thing she'd ever get!), she came to Europe for a month, we had an amazing time, she went back to Russia to get her stuff, had a fall on a floor, and WHAM, she went loopy big time. The moment we got together again, shit happened. Tried to send her back to Russia 3 times, eventually succeeded after a month.
I actually still love her and love everything that happened, but sometimes, for your own sake, you've got to move on! Don't let your life be wasted by searching and all, if she really wants you...it will happen.
Might sound cruel what all people are saying here, but they are absolutely right!
And yes, Russian women are georgeous, and they really have a way of making you feel like King of the Hill! Most special women I've ever met (yes, I've been around the block and world  )
Walking down the streets in Sint-Petersburg...this summer my jaw really dropped to the floor....so much that I wasn't even allowed to walk or sit somewhere alone by my then wife to be....
Pskov...same thing... I saw "wolf packs" of absolutely stunning women hunt...really hunt men down...
Which is probably also one of the major reasons why I'm going back to SpB in a few weeks....and probably going to live there (at least until I get weary of it....)
Russian mentality is also very different...You just don't get it unless you've lived there, not as a tourist, but between and with Russians!!! (knowing a few curses in Russian helps too)
There is not just one woman to "have"... it must come from both sides, unconditional. That's what you are aiming for in life.
Do yourself a favor, read what is being said here...all these people have ample experience in these matters!!!
It is not being said to hurt you, but to help!
Kind regards. |
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StephenB.
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Joined: 18 Aug 2007
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| Posted: Tue Oct 16, 2007 3:46 am Post subject: Re: Yeah |
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| Pete8400 wrote: | Dude, get over it!
Face it, we've all been there...men and women!
Hell, I even had the marriage papers filled in at the embassy in SpB.
We hit it off bigtime, beatiful as a model, brains, everything....
Went there, first spent a month with her, was introduced to her parents and all her friends in different cities in Russia,(and accepted as being the best thing she'd ever get!), she came to Europe for a month, we had an amazing time, she went back to Russia to get her stuff, had a fall on a floor, and WHAM, she went loopy big time. The moment we got together again, shit happened. Tried to send her back to Russia 3 times, eventually succeeded after a month.
I actually still love her and love everything that happened, but sometimes, for your own sake, you've got to move on! Don't let your life be wasted by searching and all, if she really wants you...it will happen.
Might sound cruel what all people are saying here, but they are absolutely right!
And yes, Russian women are georgeous, and they really have a way of making you feel like King of the Hill! Most special women I've ever met (yes, I've been around the block and world )
Walking down the streets in Sint-Petersburg...this summer my jaw really dropped to the floor....so much that I wasn't even allowed to walk or sit somewhere alone by my then wife to be....
Pskov...same thing... I saw "wolf packs" of absolutely stunning women hunt...really hunt men down...
Which is probably also one of the major reasons why I'm going back to SpB in a few weeks....and probably going to live there (at least until I get weary of it....)
Russian mentality is also very different...You just don't get it unless you've lived there, not as a tourist, but between and with Russians!!! (knowing a few curses in Russian helps too)
There is not just one woman to "have"... it must come from both sides, unconditional. That's what you are aiming for in life.
Do yourself a favor, read what is being said here...all these people have ample experience in these matters!!!
It is not being said to hurt you, butIto help!
Kind regards. |
I know it's your preference Russian women...What is so special that you think that they have and other women don't? The reason why I'm asking because you seem very adament of finding a Russian woman? |
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surfguy
Lounge Wizard
Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 6979
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| Posted: Tue Oct 16, 2007 7:41 am Post subject: |
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| Well let's face it...when you fall for a woman...and it doesn't work out...we are scarred for life by them...but as time goes on and we experience more and more...have more and more...it's kind of cool to look at our scars and reflect on how we earned them. It's not that one woman is better than another...but rather if we are not with the one...then it's best to seek another. My story is quite the same as Pete's. Hey If a russian women is into you...shell hunt you down...the same as any women would. |
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V8orBetter
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Joined: 12 Sep 2007
Posts: 32
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| Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2007 8:52 pm Post subject: |
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UPDATE: she finally emailed me. This is her reason for not emailing me for the past month -
"I'm so sorry that I didn't write you, because I didn't
have an opportunity to do it. I have been being on the Black sea for 3 weeks, enjoying the sun!!!!"
And this was her response to all my emails that wrote her, b/c i was pretty much emailing her every other day inconsistently. - "It was awesome, and I was really surprised when I saw 46 missed letters, most of them were yours, why didn't you give up to write me? I reaaly miss you."
at the end of her email, she asked me to write her back.
IM soooo HAPPY and Relieved right now. |
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surfguy
Lounge Wizard
Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 6979
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| Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2007 10:31 pm Post subject: |
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| Ok well keep your cool...I am telling you...make her reach and do not smother her. Good luck! |
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Jorge
Lounge Lizard
Joined: 10 Aug 2007
Posts: 162
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| Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2007 10:45 pm Post subject: |
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| Forget about her, tell her off in your next e-mail. She could not even be bothered to give you a courtesy call, to let you know that she landed in one piece, and then she let you know that you were not the only person e-mailing her, only that most of her mail was from you. She was too busy enjoying the sun on the black sea while you were thinking she was dead, or that something else bad could have happened to her. She is a game player, and unless you like this sort of thing, dump her! When you take a flight from point A to point B, its customary to let the people from point A know that you have reached point B, no matter what your relationship with them is. So you are almost like a stranger to her! |
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surfguy
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Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 6979
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| Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2007 11:04 pm Post subject: |
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| sound familiar Jorge |
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V8orBetter
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Joined: 12 Sep 2007
Posts: 32
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| Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2007 11:09 pm Post subject: |
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| Jorge wrote: | | Forget about her, tell her off in your next e-mail. She could not even be bothered to give you a courtesy call, to let you know that she landed in one piece, and then she let you know that you were not the only person e-mailing her, only that most of her mail was from you. She was too busy enjoying the sun on the black sea while you were thinking she was dead, or that something else bad could have happened to her. She is a game player, and unless you like this sort of thing, dump her! When you take a flight from point A to point B, its customary to let the people from point A know that you have reached point B, no matter what your relationship with them is. So you are almost like a stranger to her! |
I'm far from the jealous type and I have lots of trust in her. The other could have been spam, etc. I'm not like a stranger to her, b/c she said she didn't have the opportunity meaning she probably didn't have computer access during that time. I'm not dumping her. Either was it goes, I'm happy that she finally contacted me. |
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krasatulya
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Joined: 29 May 2005
Posts: 590
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| Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2007 11:29 pm Post subject: |
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| Jorge wrote: | | Forget about her, tell her off in your next e-mail. She could not even be bothered to give you a courtesy call, to let you know that she landed in one piece, and then she let you know that you were not the only person e-mailing her, only that most of her mail was from you. She was too busy enjoying the sun on the black sea while you were thinking she was dead, or that something else bad could have happened to her. She is a game player, and unless you like this sort of thing, dump her! When you take a flight from point A to point B, its customary to let the people from point A know that you have reached point B, no matter what your relationship with them is. So you are almost like a stranger to her! |
I really agree with this, it is common courtesy to let someone know you made it back safely, especially after a long trip. I wonder if it's something to do with young kids (he mentioned she was 20). My brother-in-law and his gf just left the US after working here for the summer and did they have the least bit of decency to let us know they got back ok? Nope. We got a call from my husband's mother saying all was well. The thing that really irked me is that they didn't send one e-mail, not ONE, thanking all the people in the US who helped them (ie: found them housing, found them work, drove them to get their SS cards, opened the bank accounts...wiped their a$$es basically). These kids are spoiled and think they are deserving of everything. (<---end rant 
Anyway, it is kinda sad that only after 3+ weeks later she felt she would get in touch with you. Like Jorge said, she was too busy enjoying herself to be bothered. |
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