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AliceFromMoscow
WayToRussified
Joined: 10 Jul 2004
Posts: 411
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 Posted: Tue Dec 28, 2004 10:26 am Post subject: |
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Euro-English
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would be known as “Euro-English”.
In the first year, ‘s’ will replace the soft ‘c’. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard ‘c’ will be dropped in favor of the ‘k’. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome ‘ph’ will be replased with the ‘f’. This will make words like ‘fotograf 20% shorter!
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double leters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent ‘e’ in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing ‘th’ with ‘z’ and ‘w’ wiz ‘v’.
During ze fifz year ze unesesary ‘o’ kan be dropd from vords kontaining ‘ou’ and similar changes vud of kurs be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After ze fifz yer ye vil hay a rali sensibl ritn styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evriun vil find it ezi tu undrstand ech ozer
Zen Z Drem Vil Finali Kum Tru!!
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joera
Frequent Guest
Joined: 17 Dec 2004
Posts: 26
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| Posted: Tue Dec 28, 2004 12:06 pm Post subject: |
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| pooring a bottle of vodka down my throat might get the job done a little quicker |
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AliceFromMoscow
WayToRussified
Joined: 10 Jul 2004
Posts: 411
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| Posted: Tue Dec 28, 2004 4:18 pm Post subject: |
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| joera wrote: | | pooring a bottle of vodka down my throat might get the job done a little quicker |
if you drink it without pausing for breath you can have heart attack, not to mention that 500 gramms of vodka contain 1170 calories which is half of daily norm of calories for an active person.  |
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Alexeis-Zemanova
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Joined: 15 Dec 2004
Posts: 61
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| Posted: Tue Dec 28, 2004 6:10 pm Post subject: |
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LOL Alice!!
You know, it is hardly recognized these days, but the English Language's origins are over 70% Germanic(as defined by The Oxford Concise Editions).
Succession of peoples such as the Saxons and the Jutes have brought their Germanic languages and influences over here for hundreds of years.
This ironic part is most English believe it is the other way around!(As do most of the English speaking world!)
Excellent tips about the vodka. Brought me to thinking; 'when i were a lad' i can remember some of my Russian family coming over and bringing some 80% alcohol. If you smelt it and you didn't go blind immediately, then you certainly did once you drank some.
We kept 2 bottles of it on top of the crystal cabinet. What you were supposed to do with it, i'm not sure; dilute it.. drink it straight, clean waste pipes with it perhaps? I'm still certainly none the wiser.
I know that for some of you, 80%'s going to sound an imposibillity, and let me tell you many friends understandably doubted too, but once they were shown the poison when they came over; they would literally laugh their heads off!(in England 38% is pushing it..)
I never asked that side of my family. To be honest, i was too young to ask, and was scared to anyway.
But if anyone remembers and can tell me what that horrible stuff was and whether anybody did manage to ever drink it straight; I would be greatly interested to know!!
It had a Stalin-looking character on the bottle label..perhaps an early indication as to what might happen if you drank some?!
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AliceFromMoscow
WayToRussified
Joined: 10 Jul 2004
Posts: 411
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| Posted: Tue Dec 28, 2004 7:21 pm Post subject: |
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| the worst stuff i ever drank was absinth with its 70%... |
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Alexeis-Zemanova
Frequent Guest
Joined: 15 Dec 2004
Posts: 61
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| Posted: Tue Dec 28, 2004 8:19 pm Post subject: |
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Ah yes.. Absinthe is quite popular over here amongst the insane. More popularly used by 19th Century French artists and entertainers, who would REGULARY drop dead from mis-use. Not that it deterred them, of course; I remember learning about how they would bury a friend who died from absinthe, and then drink the very same drink at their wake!!
Due to this, it's always had bad press in England. Only a few years ago, somebody looked up the law over here, saw it wasn't outlawed; and started to cream the marketplace. Personally I can't believe it took so long.
But that's not it.
The stuff I am talking about was stronger..if absinthe is four-star then this stuff was high-octane nitrous.
20USD goes to the first person who can show me any info plus picture of this vile concoction!! |
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brandalpayne11
Talk Show Host
Joined: 09 Sep 2004
Posts: 245
Location: NC, US
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| Posted: Tue Dec 28, 2004 8:59 pm Post subject: |
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| AliceFromMoscow wrote: | | the worst stuff i ever drank was absinth with its 70%... |
Is this stuff legal in Russia, I believe that it is illegal in the US.
I have to try it when I come   |
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Patrick01
Frequent Guest
Joined: 20 Dec 2004
Posts: 49
Location: Tennessee, USA
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| Posted: Wed Dec 29, 2004 12:57 am Post subject: |
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| AliceFromMoscow wrote: | Euro-English
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would be known as “Euro-English”.
In the first year, ‘s’ will replace the soft ‘c’. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard ‘c’ will be dropped in favor of the ‘k’. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome ‘ph’ will be replased with the ‘f’. This will make words like ‘fotograf 20% shorter!
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double leters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent ‘e’ in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing ‘th’ with ‘z’ and ‘w’ wiz ‘v’.
During ze fifz year ze unesesary ‘o’ kan be dropd from vords kontaining ‘ou’ and similar changes vud of kurs be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After ze fifz yer ye vil hay a rali sensibl ritn styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evriun vil find it ezi tu undrstand ech ozer
Zen Z Drem Vil Finali Kum Tru!!
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Alice, have you been reading from http://www.globalmissiology.net/ . I found the same info there. Maybe they copied from the souce you did. |
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Patrick01
Frequent Guest
Joined: 20 Dec 2004
Posts: 49
Location: Tennessee, USA
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| Posted: Wed Dec 29, 2004 1:20 am Post subject: |
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| AliceFromMoscow wrote: | Euro-English
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would be known as “Euro-English”.
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Alice, after much study it appears that there is an attempt to make all english conform to the same rules that we use in East Tennessee.
This means that in five years english writing peoples will spell the same way I do.
That in 6 years that high priced english school were Alexis learned proper english will have changed to the new rules.
That in seven years they will hire me as their dean. Who else know the language as well.
That in 8 years Alexis will have to take a refesher course and I will be his professor.
Beverly Hillbillies here we come. |
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Alexeis-Zemanova
Frequent Guest
Joined: 15 Dec 2004
Posts: 61
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| Posted: Wed Dec 29, 2004 1:58 am Post subject: |
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Paddy,
i don't completely disregard you accents; just your grammar.
For example, your Alabama accent where you pronounce 'pen' as 'peeyn' and the letter 'n' as 'ian' is quite entertaining-suggestive almost of a different state of mind-as well as the obvious accoustic differentiation.
My schools will never die out, though. Some of the best minds and writers passed through those walls. There are NO older schools ANYWHERE in the world.
Privately funded means these schools are multi-million pound organizations, need not answer to anyone, any seperate agenda; except the Stirling.
Even if the whole country was forced to speak French; rest assured these schools would still be there teaching real English; continuing their fine traditions, come what may. .. |
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AliceFromMoscow
WayToRussified
Joined: 10 Jul 2004
Posts: 411
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| Posted: Wed Dec 29, 2004 7:34 am Post subject: |
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| Actually "euro-english" was supposed to be a joke, and the article was taken from a humouristic website ) |
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joera
Frequent Guest
Joined: 17 Dec 2004
Posts: 26
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| Posted: Wed Dec 29, 2004 1:41 pm Post subject: |
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| so was my plan to drink half a bottle of vodka |
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DennisF
Lounge Lizard
Joined: 05 Nov 2004
Posts: 97
Location: Texas
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| Posted: Wed Dec 29, 2004 7:48 pm Post subject: What about that 80% stuff? |
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 Here in the US we have a preparation/distillation of 100% alcohol called Everclear. I'm not sure what it is really good for except cleaning and spiking the punch at the Prom. It is also useful in chemistry as fuel in alcohol burners. DennisF |
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Alexeis-Zemanova
Frequent Guest
Joined: 15 Dec 2004
Posts: 61
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| Posted: Thu Dec 30, 2004 3:30 am Post subject: |
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Anyway, guys, just a short message to let you know i'm leaving. It appears certain factions within the forum are uncomfortable with who i am, and thats something i can't compromise on.
its been great talking to you all(honestly), even though some of us haven't always seen eye to eye. this has been the first forum i have ever participated in, in my life. i once posted 2 messages on another forum, but that doesn't really count. Anyway, i can certainly see the appeal, if you find the right people, i guess.
it's been a most interesting experience(even with you Doc.!), thank you, and may i bid you farewell.
Alexeis |
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Dr-Fauste
Site Admin
Joined: 23 Nov 2004
Posts: 654
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| Posted: Thu Dec 30, 2004 3:38 am Post subject: |
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Who says to compromise. I don't
Believe it or not, I will miss ya. |
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