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Snegurochka
Frequent Guest
Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 21
Location: USA
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 Posted: Sat Jan 19, 2008 11:15 am Post subject: |
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| V8orBetter wrote: | | She wrote me back again.....seems to be she's writing me between the 17-20th of each month. which is every 3-4 weeks. She complained about how slow the internet was over there and how difficult it was for poor russian students to get access to it. That was her reason for why it would take her so long to write me back..... |
I wish somebody can translate it...
"Êòî õî÷åò-èùåò âîçìîæíîñòü.Êòî íå õî÷åò-èùåò ïðè÷èíó." |
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Paul-Holmes
Lounge Wizard
Joined: 12 Apr 2005
Posts: 1073
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| Posted: Sat Jan 19, 2008 11:36 am Post subject: |
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| Basically in English, who seek shall find the way, who does not seek, shall find the problems. |
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Miki
Just Starting
Joined: 25 Jan 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 10:53 am Post subject: |
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| Who seek shall find the way, who does not seek, shall find the reason. |
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V8orBetter
Frequent Guest
Joined: 12 Sep 2007
Posts: 32
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| Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2008 5:49 pm Post subject: |
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| I received another email from her yesterday. This time it was pretty clear that things aren’t looking to good for me. She emailed me saying that she doesn’t know if she’s coming back and that she really feels good in Russia, but she misses me and also she doesn’t have money for a plane ticket back to the U.S. So to me that either means she wants to come back but doesn’t have the money or she doesn’t want to come back and using the no money for plane ticket as an excuse. |
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CAjules
Frequent Guest
Joined: 12 Dec 2007
Posts: 51
Location: California
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| Posted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 12:28 am Post subject: |
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| V8orBetter wrote: | | I received another email from her yesterday. This time it was pretty clear that things aren’t looking to good for me. She emailed me saying that she doesn’t know if she’s coming back and that she really feels good in Russia, but she misses me and also she doesn’t have money for a plane ticket back to the U.S. So to me that either means she wants to come back but doesn’t have the money or she doesn’t want to come back and using the no money for plane ticket as an excuse. |
I'm sorry for you. I would just come out and ask her plainly which it is, and move on if she's still pussy-footing around the issue...that's just my opinion though. good luck. |
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Coriale
Just Starting
Joined: 15 Mar 2008
Posts: 7
Location: Saratoga Springs NY ST. Petersburg Russia
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| Posted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 7:41 pm Post subject: VBorBETTER and HIS LOVE LIFE WITH THIS RUSSIAN GIRL |
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Ok, Ive ready everything from last September on this and all your responses up til now. I am an American man, live 1/2 the year in Russia and the other 1/2 in the United States. Ive been to Russia many times now and for extended periods all the way from Moscow to Krasnodar, the Black Sea, Sochi, Restov, Novorssisk, and where i live right now in St. Petersburg. My girlfriends have been all Russian for the last 5 years. I feel that Russia is my home as well as the United States. I am very comfortable here and theres no starnge feelings here at all. I feel very much at home here.
Now, I agree with most of the people who have responded to VBorBetter and now id like to share some of my views on this situation. Ive been in the same boat as you VBorBetter but I had more maturity and common sense to deal with it. Its obvious by your postings your immature yet, never really been in love before, VERY inexperienced, and over the top analytically about everything in realtionships. Dont take that personal, its just an observation that will help you, being able to take constructive criticism is essential to your growth as a person but more importantly on how to handle situations when it comes to girls and relations with them.
As far as this girl was concerned I would have told you back in October that if she didnt e-mail you within 2 weeks after her arrival back in Russia then let her go. It doesnt matter what circumstances or fantasies you had in your mind about her KIDNAPPING in NYC, her not being able to find internet to e-mail you, This is just immature, nieve thinking and you basically were making yourself believe what you wanted to beleive in your own mind. I know this is easier said than done but were here to help you and thats the advice I would have given you.
Furthermore if this girl was really into you she would have given you all information about her address, phone numbers, and whatever else to make sure you would have open, steady, realtionship with good communication. This is the key to every successful realtionship: GREAT COMMUNICATION!!! The crap about her being at the Black Sea and soaking up the sun is garbage, not being able to contact you is is just a case of " Out of Sight, Out OF Mind". More than likely she was with another guy who was Russian. The fact is for her, you were someone to hang out with and feel safe with while she was in America! She liked you yes, but not in the way you liked her. A girl that feeds you French Fries while riding in the car is not LOVE. You need to get over this, and the best medicine for a broken heart is to move on to someone who will appreciate you and not play games with your head. Thats my advice to you, feel free to ask me anything you want because Im only here to help you!!! |
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staleek
Frequent Guest
Joined: 09 Sep 2007
Posts: 28
Location: Rochester, NY USA
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| Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2008 7:07 am Post subject: |
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| Absence may make the heart grow fonder, but distance will drive a stake right through it......... |
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dinara
Just Starting
Joined: 21 Mar 2008
Posts: 6
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| Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 3:51 pm Post subject: |
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I agree with Coriale completely.
It is very difficult, but you have to do it - forget her.  |
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jo-jo-7
Just Starting
Joined: 16 Mar 2010
Posts: 6
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| Posted: Fri Mar 21, 2008 5:54 pm Post subject: |
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| staleek wrote: | | Absence may make the heart grow fonder, but distance will drive a stake right through it......... |
Out of sight, out of mind..... |
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V8orBetter
Frequent Guest
Joined: 12 Sep 2007
Posts: 32
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| Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 12:52 am Post subject: |
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she wrote back again. This time she was so upset because I hadn't wrote her in a month and she was also upset b/c she thought I forgot about her.
Here's her exact message below.
"I'm so upset, 'couse u haven't written to
me for ages? What's happened? Did u forget me, I'm checking my mail
every day but there is no letter from you! r u alive?"
If she has no plans to come back, why is she so upset? I don't get it.
What does this message mean? |
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Paul-Holmes
Lounge Wizard
Joined: 12 Apr 2005
Posts: 1073
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| Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 3:47 am Post subject: |
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I had a GF from Russia who acted the same way.
Kicked the shit out of me and then missed me and repeated the process.
After two years of this shit, I decided that I am not going through with it anymore. I will remain friends and only friends.
If she decided that she wanted to play games, have some fun with others, or see if there is someone better, and I would sit back and wait until she makes her decision, then she was wrong. Life goes on
I think she has to tell you the truth, but first she has to tell herself the truth. She treated you with disrespect and improperly. It is not like petals of a flowers where she loves and loves you not. Maybe she does not know what she wants, so is that what you are looking for is a big maybe? Stop punishing yourself.
Maybe it is me that I am not romantic and that I do not believe in that one true love, but |
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sphygmo
Frequent Guest
Joined: 22 Mar 2008
Posts: 30
Location: Manila/Rome
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| Posted: Wed Apr 23, 2008 6:56 am Post subject: |
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| V8orBetter wrote: | she wrote back again. This time she was so upset because I hadn't wrote her in a month and she was also upset b/c she thought I forgot about her.
Here's her exact message below.
"I'm so upset, 'couse u haven't written to
me for ages? What's happened? Did u forget me, I'm checking my mail
every day but there is no letter from you! r u alive?"
If she has no plans to come back, why is she so upset? I don't get it.
What does this message mean? |
I'm not an expert on Russian women (but then, who is?), but as a human being with a neutral standpoint, I have to say that she is acting like any manipulative attention-hungry person would. She wants your attention, but once she gets it she will disappear again.
But the problem isn't really her. It's you, because you cannot seem to let go of her. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and better fish who can give you the love you deserve. Don't be a victim. I say this with concern. |
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aarickyarora
Just Starting
Joined: 19 Jun 2008
Posts: 1
Location: India ( Delhi)
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| Posted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 12:46 pm Post subject: hi i am abhi from delhi india |
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hiiiiiiiiii
shall we talk |
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bobsonnn
Frequent Guest
Joined: 27 May 2008
Posts: 11
Location: Russia, Moscow
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| Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 11:44 am Post subject: |
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Es wi schal
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alex57410859
Just Starting
Joined: 13 Sep 2008
Posts: 1
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| Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 6:32 pm Post subject: |
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| Paul Holmes wrote: | I had a GF from Russia who acted the same way.
Kicked the shit out of me and then missed me and repeated the process.
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I can relate to the original poster and to Paul. I became interested in Russian culture and found this site. I remember reading this posting and thinking how naive the poster was. But then I met a Russian girl and the same was done to me. It seems to me there are some Russian girls who enjoy "playing a game" and manipulating men. Of course, this is done in all cultures, but it seems to me the Russian woman can be more deceptive, and that from reading here, it is not uncommon behavior. I can often sniff out an American girl who has ulterior motives, is not genuine, etc. But I had a wonderful short relationship with a Russian girl, she told me she really liked me, even made the first move and kissed ME, talked about things she wanted to do together, places she wanted to go with me. I got to know her family (who liked me) and she mine (ditto). We would spend hours on the phone and went many places together. It is not an exaggeration for me to say this was the most pure, innocent, sincere, intelligent girl I have known.
And then one day, with no explanation or reason, she breaks plans and does not want to see me. She will call periodically and say oh I miss you how have you been, but refuses to see me. I ask and she claims to still have feelings for me but is just "too busy" (which is obviously a lie). She lives just minutes away, and if there is an explanation for her change of heart, whatever it is I just want to hear the truth. But I hear nothing but deception, rude behavior, and silence from her. I finally wrote her a letter explaining my feelings since she would not give me the opportunity to tell her myself. And I heard nothing back (for 3 days anyway). So anyway, I just wanted to say I can relate, and it is behavior like this that hardens mens hearts and makes us less willing to trust and open up in the future. I wish I had answers, as it still hurts, but time heals all wounds and there are many other women out there... |
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