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Bryce-Stevens

I live in the US and I can't say that I like it or dislike it. I don't like how liberal some people are and how ignorrant others are (especially about sex but I'm starting to think that's the same everywhere). Plus I'm going to join the army (yes I'm sure of that) and I thought well Russia has a good army and I admire the courage of their army. Anyway I was just wondering is there anything I should know about Russia like differences between there and in the US or anything else anyone can think of. Also I need a cheap way to learn Russian.

gaijin · Lounge Lizard Joined: 03 Oct 2007 Posts: 155

Cheap way to learn russian. Buy a cheap method to grab the first words. You'll find very cheap books in Moscow (An excellent and complete grammar book will be under 200 rub). Then live for a year in a small town. Living expenses can be dirt cheap away from big cities.

Relation of Americans to sex is very strange, often laughable (if you're not concerned by insanely puritan parents, boyfriends who will never care about your comfort or needs, etc.), and nothing like in other countries that I know.

Anyway... You must be kidding about joining the Russian army.
edit : Why am I even replying to this troll ?

Bryce-Stevens · Posted: Wed Aug 12, 2009 3:36 pm Post subject:

Firstly I feel like I should say I'm a guy. Also thanks for all the info it helps but why would I be kidding about joining the Russian army.

romdur · Lounge Lizard Joined: 17 Mar 2010 Posts: 189

Hey Bryce,

I guess gaijin isn't familiar with names that are popular in the American west Smile

Reasons why you should be kidding about the Russian Army:

1) The Army is very poor by western standards (I mean financially, they have little money). This has many, many consequences. I read a book by a U.S. journalist who spent a night in a southern valley (an area that has been more or less a war zone for years), and was awakened by artillery streaking across from either side of the valley. The next day, he was told that an outpost in which the soldiers had not been paid for many weeks, and were going hungry, started shelling their headquarters, which returned the fire. This was maybe 7 years ago.

2) Treatment of soldiers, especially trainees, can be very tough sometimes ranging to extremely brutal. Conduct that in the U.S. would be absolutely illegal, and likely to be prosecuted, is not unusual.

3) The Russian Army gets into lots of shooting (though this is now also true for the U.S.), so it is the place to go if you really wanna see combat. I have seen Russian soldiers walking on city streets with their blood type brightly emblazoned on their uniforms.

4) Russian Army units have been implicated (numerous times) in some very dodgy operations (going house to house in villages, slaughtering civilians). Of course, the U.S. Army has also done this, but afterward steps were taken to prevent recurrence, and some people prosecuted - in Russia it is usually swept under the rug.

5) The corruption that completely suffuses Russian society (if you can get away with something, do it) goes right through the Army too. The laws, rules, regulations will often mean nothing.

6) Notwithstanding that rules are constantly being ignored, discipline is very severe. If YOU are the grunt breaking a rule, you can end up in a world of hurt.

7) If in a combat zone (or a training accident) you manage to, say, lose one arm and one leg, or receive burns over 80% of your body, and survive the first few hours, you will find yourself in a hospital that will look like nothing you have ever seen (to get a rough picture, imagine a long abandoned industrial building). The medical workers will be well trained and conscientious, and will do their best, but the standard of treatment will be a lot different from what you know in America.

Most Russians who are able to, do their damndest to avoid the Army. The idea of someone coming from America to Russia in order to join up would astonish them.

If you do want to emigrate to Russia, it takes a lot of time and commitment. Like many countries, they don't make it easy for foreigners to live there - though who knows, maybe if you joined their military, this could be a path to citizenship (I think this is finally the case in the U.S.) But it certainly can be done, if you want it enough and are patient.

gaijin · Lounge Lizard Joined: 03 Oct 2007 Posts: 155

Romdur, excellent summary of what I didn't want to write, given that, beside what you rightly mention, soldiers of the Russian army are... Russians. If you want to join a foreign army, I think the French Foreign Legion is your only choice. Before you show off as a typical ignorant American gibbering about eating cheese, check what the Foreign Legion is. Ask a Mexican, if he's not too ignorant he'll tell you about Camaron.

I was sure that you were a guy (No girl would be so foolish as to wanting to join the Russian army), why did you assume otherwise ?

edit : OK I got why you thought that I thought you were a girl, because I wrote about boyfriends treating their girlfriends like meat. In that sentence, "you" referred to any person. Any person can laugh at the american attitude towards sex, unless they are directly concerned by typically american problems such as parents freaking at anything sex-related (exists in other countries -mostly Arabic countries and India) but very rare in the West), crazy laws that will destroy their life if anyone sees you doing oral sex (mostly Muslim countries), or boyfriends who will do disgusting things such as having sex in the back of his car with his girlfriends because he wants to "score" (that's hatemaking, not lovemaking, and that's probably unique, on such a scale, to the USA).

Bryce-Stevens · Posted: Thu Aug 13, 2009 4:27 am Post subject:

Firstly no harm no fowl with the gender confusion thing. Next about the military I acctually think that American troops are kind of spoiled and if I'm gonna be a soldier I want to be a damn good one so the harsher the training the more well prepared I'll be. If you come out of combat with no scars then you are just a coward and you didn't really do anything or you are really really good at what you do which is unlikely. I imagine immigration here is just as bad as there you have to be a citizen to join the military.

Oh and seriously losing your virginity in the back of the car doesn't happen often anywhere but the US. I accept that as somewhat normal (to be fair I've had some pretty slutty girlfriends to take that all from). But really I've accepted that here every girl loses their virginity by at the most age 16 and usually it's in the back of the car and if not probably some party when they are completely drunk. Oral and handjobs according to said girls doesn't count as anything so who really knows about their sexual activness.

gaijin · Lounge Lizard Joined: 03 Oct 2007 Posts: 155

Oh yeah if you want tough time either the Russian army or the French foreign legion are good places. A fair percentage of soldiers in both don't even survive the training. If you want the hardest possible discipline go for the Legion. Still the USA (and a dozen other countries) has elite corps that could give you all the thrill you want, Navy Seals for example. I don't understand why you would want to serve another country, especially one that your own army (at least top level officers) define as an enemy (it's not Santa's elves that brought nice guns to Georgia and trained its soldiers).

...On second thought the situation you describe concerning the relation of young Americans to sex is more sad and pathetic than laughable.

mister_wizzz · VIP Joined: 27 May 2004 Posts: 582

At first, I believed it was a joke... My God, it seems it is not.

Anyway, go to Russia and ask to join their Army, it will be a short but very good sketch. Don't forget to record the scene especially when you will be kicked out...

Gaijin recommanded you the French Foreign Legion... forget it, you don't seem to be bright enough to join it.

Bryce-Stevens · Posted: Thu Aug 13, 2009 10:40 pm Post subject:

First off the US army trys way to hard to act like good guys and apparently people fall for it. The US is just as bad if not worse than any other army but their training is not as good because all of the dang hippies get people to not want to join so now the soldiers can even have cell phones in basic no joke. Russias army isn't bad or harsh just honest. If I'm gonna be a soldier why wouldn't I want to be a really good one hard training prepares you for war. As for the French well I just don't like the French but thats just me. I've looked into the spec ops here too by the way and the hardest one is rangers which is no where near as tough as it once was and it keeps getting easier. The Russian army gets things done and doesn't stop doing it just because people think war is wrong.

Paul-Holmes · Lounge Wizard Joined: 12 Apr 2005 Posts: 1073

Why are you bothering to convince this guy about life in the Russian Army?
I guarantee that he cannot speak a word of Russian, never been there, know not single Russian living in Russia, and yet he speaks that he know more than everyone else on this forum about life in Russia and the Russian army.

Bryce, you have to be citizen of Russia or a former CIS country to join the Russian army. Good luck on that!!

Bryce-Stevens · Posted: Fri Aug 14, 2009 3:49 am Post subject:

I'm aware people don't think someone would want to join the Russian army I expected it because even people here don't want to join the armt and think you are crazy for wanting to and I do know a bit of Russian but you are mostly right and I dont acctually care whether you guys think it is stupid or not but is it possible to get citizenship and join. I mean here you go get the papers fill them out come back take a test and if you pass you are a citizen. All I know is I could do alot of things but beinga soldier is the only one that feels right to me because I can do that and if I'm gonna be a soldier I want to be well trained one. The Russian army is brutally trained but it works. So just tell me how I would get my citizenship and join.

danbrew · Just Starting Joined: 17 Mar 2010 Posts: 9

gaijin · Lounge Lizard Joined: 03 Oct 2007 Posts: 155

darthvader · WayToRussified Joined: 09 Dec 2005 Posts: 427

Bryce, how you managed, in the one thread, to combine sex with the impossibilities of a Russian-language-illiterate foreigner joining the Russian Army is beyond me. Smile

Anyway, Russia is a culturally rich, very interesting and very beautiful country. You would be amazed at much on any visit. You may even have the time of your life there. Yet, its a "much" harsher life for the average local, than it is in the West. This, you can't fathom - yet.

Get a 30-day Tourist Visa sorted. Have a few weeks holiday in Russia. Now, how hard is that for you to do? This site will assist/advise on any endeavour of yours to acquire such visa.

After your trip, then decide on what's next in your life. Maybe you'll get another tourist visa ASAP, since you enjoyed yourself so much on first visit!

SV1973 · Posted: Mon Aug 24, 2009 4:07 pm Post subject:

The mighty Russian Army...
Feared by everybody.
BUT MOST OF ALL BY RUSSIAN MALES UNDER THE AGE OF 27.

If you are really so keen on joining the Russian Army, I would advise you to come over to Moscow in the beginning of August, and participate in Paratroopers Day.
I am sure that your future brothers-in-arms would be most willing to explain you about the joys of army life.
Oh, and by the way, approximately 5000 to 10000 Russian lads a year, do not survive their army time. Reasons; malnutrition, neglection,..., severe bullying (including rape and torture) from `collegues`.
Because of you being an American, and hence being different from the others, are a target for bullying, so you are most likely to end up in the last category of victims. And nobody in Russia, will even care about that.
Why don`t you just sit down and do something useful with your life, instead of dreaming of fighting and killing people (who after all, never did you any harm).

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